Last One Out.

Here we go now. My last blog post of the year, so I really don't wanna be filling it with rant or curse or whatsoever of the sort. But hey, proves my life is full of shits. And shits do happen, right? So be it.
Because no matter what, it had to be so-called "endured" and as the positive ones would say, "Take it as another challenge from God".

I wonder to what extent of an optimistic that I am.
Am I a person who faces a "challenge" in life and smiles and says, "Oh yes God, I'm enjoying this. Gimme more!"? [Bah~ That would be so unrealistic.]
So, am I a person who when given a "challenge", finds hard for the reason of it happening and laughs on hard when I found one possible reason and then overcomes it [if it is overcome-able] and then takes pride on it and then, and then.....? [Bah~ That would be so self-fool.]
Well, if that's the case, I guess I'm never the optimistic one. Because it's a lie to say optimism has never disappoint me. But one thing for sure, it had never bluffed me. Because when it doesn't work, it doesn't work. So, I guess it's a good thing (?). [*ding* One point for optimism.]

Bah~ If this is how it's gonna be. Praise to the Gods up there. Praise to the fools down here. May the year ahead be full of optimism, and if luck abides you to it, may it be empty of disappointment.

To the optimistic ones out there, have a great time overcoming your "challenges". I mean it.
To the pessimist, have a great time hiding yourself from your "challenges".
To the ones like me, let's have a swell [pun intended] being in the way just how we are. Bah~

Happy New Year! *winks*

Internet At Last.

After so blardy-freaking long [pardon the language], I finally get my own Streamyx connection in my own homie! Gosh~! Don't make me start on why it took so long. You'll know the right person to ask it to. =p

All these while without internet connection is such a kill. So what if you can get online someplace out there. It's just so different not to be able to get connected from home. My laptop just felt so boring and spiders were near to building it's cobwebs around the desktop. =p

Truly, this is serious case!! Did you even know, almost half of the ladies out there would give up sex for internet?! Haha. If at all you don't believe it, just go on and Google about it. Betcha gonna get a whole bunch of hits.

But seriously, it was almost a double kill when you finally get your own house, own room [after such disaster] and the internet connection is still taking so long to get connected. We can do nothing, we can't download our notes, can't do our assignments, can't check anything at all. So yes, it would be way too much to actually ask for chats on MSN/YM or just plain surfing the net.
What more to update my blog. *rolls eyes*

Yes, I know my blog is dead [as a fren would call it] and nothing's been updated.
But I would just say my poor blog had just gone into a coma, and is now reviving. =D Give it some time to recover. I'll be by it's side. Don't worry. Hahaha.
I've so much to blog about but I was just plain lazy considering I couldn't blog about anything at times when I felt like it.
I didn't have a comfy position, comfy timing, comfy this, comfy that.
I'll try to update about whatever I wanted to soon and post it up. I don't want my past three months not immortalized anyway. Hahaha. Ok, this IS exaggerative.

My my my~~ This is so comfortable. I finally get to get to surf the net on my comfy lil bed. Just the way I like it. [Oops... Yes, lazy I know. =p]
Seriously, my God... So comfy~~ Aight aight, lotsa catching up to do online. Haha. Till the next post. Toodles~~


p/s:
What is this about everyone catching the blogging bug suddenly? I'm surprised. Here we go, keep it up people! *winks*

Special Day.

Two months and a birthday. Yeap. You got it right. It is a special day. =D

Good Deed Done.

Had quite a funny evening. As we were off for dinner in Dengkil, one cab was in front of us. Being the noisy and crappy ones that we were, I just pointlessly pointed out to how long the aerial at the back of the car is. [It was meant to connect the walkie-talkies of the taxi station anyway.] Instead of looking at the aerial, all Chee Wei saw was a cellphone. On top of the trunk of the car! And all of us starting shouting. Soon Ming even honked the fella in front. But c'mon, for real, who would be much bothered about you honking? Especially in Malaysia. =D

Round the corner at the Fire Station there, and the phone was on it's way off from the trunk right to the tarred road. Ouch~ Pretty amazing how tough Nokia phones are huh? =p Everything was stil intact, and as a matter of fact, it is still functioning. Or at least, as we see it.
Obviously stated, we stopped the car and got down to save the phone. At least you'd know the phone is in good hands. *bats eyelashes* Hehe. And well, it did. No worries. We're good people. =p

The owner called quite a number of times. I can imagine the anxiousness of the fella. Had a couple of such experience myself, and it is so not fun. Imagine worrying and wishing that you hadn't been such a forgetful that you were. So many times you just wanna kick yourself in the head. *sigh*

But there's also this one time that I am so frigging lucky. Thanks to this one man. That night I lost my wallet. Well, I actually drop it at the carpark at my Penang home, when we just came home from dinner. I actually realized it hours later, which was already near midnight. Omigosh! And I would be going back to Cyberjaya the next day! My bus ticket, identity card, everything in that wallet. Now how do you suppose that I'm gonna be safe from my parents? =_=

Worrified, I went downstairs and started looking all over for it. I went down thrice, I think. And the third time was the time my 'angel', at that moment, came along. He asked if I lost a wallet. Imagine the shock I had!! Handing me the wallet, he asked to check if I lost any important documents. Of course, the money is gone, but who cares?! All I wanted was the important documents just to be safe. That includes my identification card and all. Can't bear to go through the trouble to make a report and all.

He told my Dad that he actually came around a couple of times already hoping to see the owner coming back to look for it. Boy was I glad that he did. And boy was I glad that I never stop looking for it at the carpark, even though it was pretty obvious already that there's no wallet lying around anywhere. =__=
Thank God!!!!
The relief was so overwhelming. That's why I totally understand the feeling to lose something important. Grrr~ Still hate those who stole from me before though! >=P

Final One Week.

Final one week to complete my mini project. To create an Mp3 player~~!!
Surely it ain't gonna be anything like an iPod nor a Sony player, but at least it's way more meaningful and precious. *winks*

After a whole 12 weeks on the course, we've finally come down to the final stage. To access data from the SD card and send it over to the decoder and walla~ The Mp3 is ready to go.
But, sadly...after a couple weeks of putting things on hold for midterm tests and assignments, progress on the project had been slow. To be frank, this 'last' stage should have been over and done with by now. Hence, we're all pretty much struggling to race against the time now. However, I do believe we'd be able to complete it on time. No doubt! [Fingers crossed. ;)]

Fixing the hardware was kinda fun, and being exposed to the "Engineers' Haven" was one experience I'll cherish. Haha! The haven is non other than the Jalan Pasar. A place where you can find just about any electronics component. A place where you would shop more crazily than you would in a shopping mall. No kidding, we practically went in to every single electronics shop there. Some of us were even so obsessed of the place that they went over really often. Haha.
You'll be amazed with all the collection of components they have in every shop, and of how crowded the whole place is. I was personally amazed with the racks they have in each shop, and the little components inside them. Seriously looked like sampah. Haha! But then again, you know, I still like to see many, many little things all piled up together. =D Somehow, they looked cute. Just like this....a lil.

[Looked familiar this place? =D]

Since, wosiew [pronounced Wo-Siew, meaning Master Wo] mentioned that packaging doesn't contribute much to the final marks, we've decided to transfer everything to the veroboard only after the software part is done. So, this is how our lil product looks like for now.


I am not exactly fond of writing the software that goes with the whole project. Well, I do find C-programming interesting at times [bah~] but to an extent of this, it isn't such a good idea. Especially not with so many datasheets to refer to, so many points to be taken care of, so many unknown errors. The worst part of it all would be troubleshooting!
Especially when you think that everything is successfully coded and then suddenly you notice something wrong and the next thing you know, you panicken. You can no longer stay rational and all you do is blame the 'mysterious' display for acting weird.
Being the one who wrote the code, you will never [I repeat, NEVER] are able to pinpoint which line, or which command, is wrong. You would even look down at the obvious mistake and say, "There is nothing wrong so why won't the frigging thing works?!". And then, you'll get so pissed of, not able to think straight and waste most of the next hours just hoping to find error you don't think exists. Haha.
Ever worse was when you finally found out the SIMPLE mistake in the code. Cause that's when you feel like hiding yourself away for being so silly.

Well, no matter how silly I shall be, I will be. I just so gotta get this thing up and running. Wish me luck people! Shall resume FAT16-ing. Here we go!

Fragility Of Life.

Since I forgot to turn my cellphone on again after it turns itself off yesternight with its battery totally flat, I missed two important calls from my Dad this morning. They were on their way down to KL again. And this time it wasn't for some holiday, nor was it planned beforehand. Knowing the reason to why they are rushing their way down south really gave me the shock.
I truthfully, seriously never ever expected this. At least not so suddenly, at least not without much warning.
And I'm reminded of the time I got the news of my maternal grandmother. Then two years later, my paternal grandfather's. All of which came to me as the news of the day, came to me as the first thing in the morning when I woke up. I would wish that it all are just dreams, that I would wake up the very next moment kicking myself in the head for dreaming such nonsensical dream. But it all never happen, I never woke up from that "dream". I had to mourn instead.

Death had always given me the fear of losing my loved ones, given me the fear of not being able to see them again. I hoped death never exists, and I still do. Ever since I was young, I had imagined my family to stay as it was that day till the day I am a hundred. Just addition, no subtraction. I never liked to relate death with my ever-loved ones.
And I felt the sharpest pain of losing with my grandmother's passing.

It wasn't that often that I met her when she was alive, but I remember the days when I see her. And who could forget the days when we had to say goodbye. Every goodbye, I was tearful and I long for the next trip when I would be seeing her again. But at least, I get to say goodbye.
Call me silly, but I did wished that I would see the ghost of my grandmother just so I could bid her goodbye one last time. Every turn of my head, I wished to see her face looking back at me. Her sweet smile, her gentle eyes. Just one last time. Just one last goodbye.

Life is so fragile, that you'd not know whether you'd still be here the next second. Life is so fragile, sometimes it's just so scary to miss a single minute of it. Life is so fragile, I never want to think of it ending.
Life should be about living and the process of it, not fearing for it's ending.
For if you do, then you would be looking forward to dying.
Cherish your loved ones, cherish your life. =)

My Comeback.

It' been a frigging long time since I blogged for real. Every post had not been written on that very day, or on the very moment the idea comes to me. Rather, it all very much piled up like my assignments and when the day comes that I am free and in the mood, I will blast them all out. This of which I really am not quite liking it. It's true that I know what I want to write and all, and that I just need the extra time to think how to put them in words. But to have so many unwritten posts all written and posted at one go, it pretty much loses its touch [or rather, I lost MY touch].

Life hasn't been much of a rant lately, except for the fact that I am still homeless in Cyberjaya now. Life has been filled with one rush after another, leaving me not much of a room to rant about anything anyway. Life has been so busy and tiring that blogging stayed miserably at the end of my head. For everytime that I clicked on the 'New Post' button, my mind would miraculously be blanked of words, and thought I'd better finish off whatever I have to finish off now, I'd continue finishing this post later. And that is how they all piled up. Writer's block, people call it? Nah, I don't think so. Maybe sometimes, but not everytime...I think. But most of the, all I need was very much the long, undisturbed time for me to be on my own. But a few times that when the free time comes along, I'd end up doing something else or just laze around like it's nobody's business. Well, of which is really true as it IS none of anybody else's business. =D

Logging in today, I saw that someone actually came over to my blog [when I have sadly abandon it for awhile] and rate it! Er, shall I be proud? Not considering the result of the rating, but the fact that someone actually wants to rate my blog? Haha! I don't know, I just thought of it to be weird. Well, for one, it isn't like I'm commercializing my blog. Furthermore, I'm just writing how I feel like writing. So, no pressure. Please. Haha.

Ah well, I guess this should mark my determination to post up blogposts again. =D
....hopefully. *bluek*

Another New Month.

Already it's September. The past one month is yet another eventful month.
Misery, confrontations, happy ending/beginning, shit house, being homeless.
Today marks another new day of another new month. Let's all be hopeful that this month will also be eventful with only happy events ya. Please no more of you-know-what. *grrrrr*

For the weekend, had a normal routine that we have everytime my family is down to KL. Haha, some of you may just well know what it meant. =D
Sometimes it's just tiring with the frequent trips like that, but I still love the plans for I get to be with my parents. =D
This time, I was supposed to follow my Brother back down to KL town in the morning, but had a change of plan quite last minute because his meeting was canceled.
So, I had to catch a bus on my own in order to reach KL town on time, early. Haiyo. Not like he's going to drive me all the way back to Cyberjaya anyway. *sobz*

Anyway, it's been a month! I can't believe it's been a month now. [Actually it's been MORE than just a month.] How time flies. *brrr* Hehe. And the past month [the real one month] had been a good one. ^^
Thanks for being there. Thanks for putting up with me. Thanks for all the support. Thanks for so so much, I'll keep it real. =D
Haha. How pitiful you had to put up with the you-know-what as well. And even more how pitiful you had to put up with having to give up your cosy home. =p

First month~~ Keep it up! *winks*

Happy National Day!

Selamat Hari Kebangsaan! 51 years of independence!
Freedom, achievement...still a lil far-fetched. No comments. You know better. =)

Anyway, I read this on an article I think. Can't remember precisely where I read it, but I do remember the important points of it. And that is, wishing the nation "Selamat Hari Merdeka" would be wrong. This is because we only had our Merdeka Day once and that was back in 1957. And that day was THE day we were finally independent, free from any kind of invasion at all. Furthermore, Sabah and Sarawak did not attain their independence on that very same day. So, with the wisdom of our late Tunku Abdul Rahman, the term "Selamat Hari Kebangsaan" is used to replace "Selamat Hari Merdeka". Of which I think is really true. And very wise.
So, don't give the wrong wishing anymore. =P

Memorable event of the day is that...my family [except my Daddy] is going for karaoke-ing! Haha, weird eh? We will actually celebrate our National's Day singing our hearts out the whole night through. Bet you can imagine us singing the oldies of all time. It's going to be a greaaaaat night! Weeeeeeee~~~~!


Message of the day:
Dong dong bell~~ Pussy in the well~~
Happy Birthday, Ding! =D

Homeless Children.

A whole week being homeless in Cyberjaya is really saddening. The five of us are like refugees, bunking here and there. The whole week had been so tiring. Yamunah, Li Ping and I had practically moved all our stuffs outta the house already. Very, very, very determined not to continue staying in that house ever again!
But my wardrobe is still in that sad house. I wonder what am I gonna do with it. But first, I gotta wonder what is gonna happen to it. =___=

Being the homeless children we are now, we are desperate to find solutions. Desperate to find a new place to reside. But sadly, we just seemed to be unable to find the perfect solution to satisfy all. Guess there wasn't [or rather, isn't] any solution at all which could ever satisfy each of us.
Separation would be the only answer for us now. So sad, I know. =(

Right now, we have so many things that we have to take care of. First, we need to settle the old house agreement with the owner, or more specifically to end the agreement with the owner. Hopefully we can get back our deposits. Even more hopeful to get back some claims for our stuffs lost in that disaster.
Then, we need to find a new place to stay. Then, we need to worry this and that about the processes. Then, we need to settle our assignments. Then, we need to study. Then, then, then....
God, all these 'thens' are really annoying and they all come simultaneously and not sequentially, like what real 'thens' are supposed to. =___=

Well, at least the weekend is here again. My family would be down for the long weekend. Let's just leave this stress and worries behind for a lil while. I'm sure we'll have more of it after the long weekend. Hopefully happy solutions will come along. *winks*
And I so need to start studying for the test next week. Especially after knowing that the test would be an open-book test, I am getting even lazier to get my bums down to study seriously. Not having a proper place for my own, I just can't seem to concentrate well. My to-do list is getting longer and longer! Omigosh! =P

Additional Frustration!

Oh shit!
No, wait... The "shit" word is very sensitive right at the moment.
Very, very sensitive. =(

It was supposed to be a great weekend. A weekend without stress or books. But life just had to be imperfect. Hence, imperfection is accompanied by....crap. *blergh!*

It all started on one beautiful Saturday morning. Waking up and getting ready to bathe, I went into the bathroom and saw something I don't wanna see.
It's invading both the bathrooms! Oh, God!!
Tried cleaning it up, just kept spraying water like mad. You can never expect me to step in any further, except to spray it away from far.
Right after, thinking it was okay to bathe, the sinkhole was practically burping with every drop of water flowing into it. I ran away as fast as I could. You bet I did. Anybody can bathe anywhere else at that moment!

Sadly, for the shock of my day, I got a call from Kelmynn later in the afternoon. Her room had been invaded!! And her stuffs are practically 'conquered'. Brrr... Conquered and dirtied.
You see, you'll never be able to understand the teruk-ness of the situation until you are in that situation. Don't you agree so? Well, I couldn't agree more on that statement. Being away at that moment, I didn't think it was very very bad. I just thought it was...well, just bad. Poor Karen had to clean the whole room.
Used up 5 hours, she said.
Even after the 5 hours of her hard work, the house still stinks. Good Lord. It seriously felt like we are in some kind of a sewage. *blergh*
And so, we ran off to our friend's house for the night.

But for the shock of all shocks, our house is totally flooded the next morning!! Gahhhhhhh!!!
My my my, now it even looked like a sewage!! *double blergh*
How could we ever stay in that house ever again?! Imagine how disgusted we were, imagine how frustrated we were too. Now we have to pack and clear everything we ever want to save from that dirty, smelly house.
Some stuffs of mine are soaking wet, and I could never had been ever bothered to check what it is. Because no matter how important it is, I don't think I can ever save or keep them anymore. I don't care and I just kept shoving them all into the garbage bag. It's not soaking wet of clean water, note that. Yucks. *shivers*

It's been a long, tiring night. And being in that kinda atmosphere packing really can kill. Imagine how intoxicated we are by now. Haha.
Time to rest. Toodles. =(

Some Frustration.

I have only two midterm tests this week and I already am feeling so choked up. If you'd compare it to Yamunah's four-tests marathon, having only two of it isn't quite as stressful. Yet, I guess I just am not in the mood for exams.
But hell no if you'd say I don't study.
Maybe it ain't as hard as for finals, but still I made sure I go through everything
[at least least least once].

I especially hate it when the lecturer would go around telling you that the midterm paper is gonna be an easy-peasy one. Pantang!
Because you'd know the pressure is then higher than before, knowingly that if you don't score this, it'll be such a waste. Also, whatever the lecturer said that was supposedly to be easy is NEVER easy! Bah~

Tonight's midterm paper was one of that kind. Right after the test, I felt as shitty as I did back when I took the Electronics 3 paper. You bet it right. It was crappy.
To be frank, I am not very much worried about what my results would come out to be. Rather, I was feeling very down for I have studied and know what was going on in this subject [and I like it!].
But as I was writing down my answers, I find myself having lots of doubts. Not pretty sure of what I should write, I start to wonder. Do I not understand? Or do I not remember? *sighs*
I guess I just don't squeeze my poor brain enough through the test. I just never gave enough effort to think. I was so tired and my whole body was as if it was gonna breakdown on me any second then.
I felt even worse after passing the paper up, and listening to the rest discussing. Pretty normal routine. =_=
Listening to all the possible solutions/answers, it came to me that I know them all [whatever they were discussing]. So why didn't I write them down?! Daym~ *sighs*

I was told I am really lucky, for there are fireworks to be enjoyed right after my test. It was the Malaysia International Fireworks Competition in Putrajaya. Today's would be the third show for this year.
Non-doubtfully, today's fireworks from Canada is superb. Of course, minus the polluted sky. It was so beautiful with all the special ones blasted off to the sky. I especially loved the colourful ones and those swirling ones.
[No photos/vids taken today as my phone was running low on battery.]
Sadly enough though, I just don't seem to be able to enjoy it the way I would usually be. My mind had stopped thinking about the test, no lie.
Yet, the fireworks just seemed so alien tonight. Just some kinda light bursting up in the sky, and that was that.
There was the occasional "wow, cool", but that was it. *sighs*
Sad. I know. Maybe I was just not appreciative enough tonight. Pardon that. =)

Anyhow, come the end of the day, life goes on. Disappointment is just another fact of life I have to endure. Just like the fireworks in the sky, it wouldn't last long. Not if I don't learn to let go. And I'm just too sure that something else would come along, either to cover up for this disappointment or to add on to it.
Life's too short to linger on that one small disappointment in life. =)


p/s:
Apparently, today is the 20082008 day. Beautiful numbers, ain't it?
For me, it was a beautiful day as well. Surely, minus the sad story.
Instead, focus on just the good things in life.
Thank you for being my company. *winks*

Malaysia's Olympics Gold Medal.

...down the drain. *sighs*
Blame him not though. Blame it all on the pressure that Malaysia has put on him.
Can you imagine a man having to carry the hope of a whole 25 million population of Malaysia?
Can you imagine a man having to fight with the world's best with all that pressure on both shoulders?
Brrr.. If it was me, I would have collapsed even before the match even started. Haha. Thus, compare me not.

But then again, the match was a very disappointing one at many points.
I did expect to see a tough competition from Lee Chong Wei though, giving Lin Dan a hard time to take on the winning match. But by the second set, when Malaysia was losing by 11-1, I knew the game was going to be a real frustrating one for all Malaysians. As a matter of fact, it was quite embarrassing.
Was skill at stake then?

Disappointingly, I believe luck wasn't quite on Malaysia's side tonight.
Every net-ball hit was unable to go past the net. Or when it did actually went over the net, it is always successfully counteracted by China.
Everytime Lee Chong Wei smacks the shuttlecock, my heart skips a beat.
Purely due to the fact that every smack he made, Lin Dan could just easily hit back [without making much movement], leading Lee CW running around the court like a lost chicken. Alright, so the term 'lost chicken' was wrongly used. Haha. Pardon me. =p
But seriously, don't you agree that Lin Dan seemed so comfortable and didn't quite use much effort to defeat Lee CW tonight? *sighs*

I bet the whole of Malaysia can seriously see the amount of stress and pressure Lee CW had straight on his face. Seeing his performance tonight had clearly shown us how he suffered. *sulks* So sad. I believe he would have played much better had he not kept thinking of the RM1million he would be receiving had he gotten the Gold medal. Haha. [For those blur enough, it was meant to be a joke. =.=]

So, I guess that marks the end of Olympics 2008 for Malaysia. Though we may not have had gotten a Gold, we can always make do with the Silver medal. Ahakz.
Seriously, it's better than nothing. Right? *winks*
At last, something to be proud of [despite the quite-embarrassing lost].

Malaysia Boleh! Ahakz~

What-A-Night..

Refreshed my web browser the whole afternoon checking for the online results for the SMS contest when I was supposed to be studying. Each of us had just sent in all our maximum votes, and yet the other college's song's winning with landslide results. Proves how rich that college's kids are. [Seriously. Haha.]

Went to the 4th Inter-Varsity Song Composing (IVSC) Competition in the MMU Grandhall in the evening when we were supposed to be studying.

MMU CLS team is the organizer of this time's IVSC event. And you can see the effort through and through.
The moment I stepped into the Grandhall, I was pretty much impressed with the way the hall was decorated. There was not much fanciful stuffs around, but simplicity is the key. The lighting especially was great. Everything looked so professional at that point. And the rest of the night shall be unspoken of, by me. =)
Oh, and we even got special seats. The third row. Great view! Hehe.

Well, the main objective we went tonight is to give support to our jolly fellow, Gjen Gkai. A song he composed had managed to make it to the finals. Congratulations on that first!
That song was one superb song alright, combining both traditional and modern music instruments. The harmonious combination.

Ok, so my mobile phone isn't the best alternative to take the video of Gkai's song. But hey, no complains alright. Just listen then, it's a really nice song. *winks*

Oh and by the way, anyone knows how I may get hold of the rest of the performances after Gkai's? Hehe, well, I left for the fireworks in Putrajaya right after Gkai's song.
Told'ja we went for Gkai only. *grins*

Best Friends Always Stick Around.

Nothing in the world should [preferably 'would'] ever make a best friend do anything in the world to hurt you. As long as you've got the right friends, trust me that you will have them by your side for whatever happens, no matter how busy or how long you've last spoken to each other.

Today, I see two of my closest friends [since Alpha] had a misunderstanding.
I wasn't reminded of any of such event whereby I am the one involved, not to mean I didn't get myself into such situations before [more than once as a matter of fact]. Don't ask me why it is so for I do not know why either. One thing I know is that I felt really bad for these two friends. I wish there is something I can do for them. Afterall it was nothing but just a mere misunderstanding.
What is this about losing each other? *sighs*

Tell you, I never believed best friends existed. Even finding [true] friends had seemed so hard. Betrayal was once forcefully accepted in a harsh way.
Maybe it was just me, maybe I was just being naive.
At least the 'best friend' term had always seemed so alien until I found these few guys. You showed me what friends really are, and I start to believe in friendship. I start to enjoy having friends at the time when I was all alone in a strange new place.
Believe me, you would never know how grateful I am for all that you guys have done for me.
Maybe it was just by chance that we met each other, but it was definitely not by chance how we became friends. And it is definitely not by act how we treat our friends.

This is a post specially for a dear friend, who might have forgotten that we'll always be there for him.
I hope you guys could resolve this ASAP aight? Or else, you can expect my nosy-self coming to you really soon.

Would also just love to take this chance to thank all those who stayed dear to me all these while. You know who you are. :)
Thank you for being there when I was down. Thank you for being there when I was in trouble. Thank you for being there when I needed to be alone. Thank you for everything.
I promise I would be there, whenever you need me. Just gimme a holler. ;)

Early Return.

Well, I'm back in Cyberjaya since yesterday. Followed Juin Hau and the rest. I would usually only return from my holiday in Penang on the very last day, so returning so early this time really felt...weird. Haha.
I really did consider taking the bus back only on Sunday, but c'mon. I think I am more rational than that. =p

At first I thought I would be studying for my upcoming tests since I'm back so early, but turn out I have taken a frigging looooooooong sweet time to clean up. Then again, it is my habit to work slowly, cleaning bit by bit, here and there. I've finally gotten the vacuum cleaner from Juin Hau, but have yet to plug it in and start working.
My room is so dusty by now that if I don't do it by today, somebody will. Brrr...

Oh and by the way, gotta take this opportunity to congratulate all graduating seniors. Happy Graduation, everybody! =D
Slowly anticipating to the day when it is my turn. ^^ Haha.

Curse Of The Tummy Mummy.

Okay, fine. So I'm being lame with the post title, sue me. =P

But my stomach ain't being all merciful on me by the second anyway.
I'm starting to wonder why. Why is it always that my [supposedly] gastric pain only attacks when I am coming home to Penang? And it never subside until days after. Grrr...
Even worse, the after-effects will linger for as long as they can. Double grrr...

Sometimes I think I know the reason to this stomach problem and tried to prevent it, but sometimes I doubt if I really know. Bottomline though, it is better off when I am hungry than I am full.
Haha. I know, I know. Wrong perception of mine, but pardon me. When you are going through what I am experiencing now, you probably would agree with me too. Understand the term 'indigestion' okie?

Gahhh. Enough of rants. Gotta rest, gotta rest!~ =)

Day Before Break.

Going home Penang tomorrow. After living practically the hardest 8 weeks in my Uni life, I'm finally going to have my break. Though it is only for a week, I'm glad I have it. [Sorry, but I mean it.]

The day before the break had been a slow and normal, boring one. Which was likable. =)
Many are not around in Cyberjaya anymore, as a matter of fact. Some are off to the PC Fair [to work or to shop], some are off somewhere for something, while some had even headed off home.
Guess I would have flight back home too if it hadn't been for the Mini-Project class. What was even more interesting was the fact that the lecturer did not come into class even after 2 hours. Bet he had gone off somewhere, or probably had even started his holiday. Hrmph~

Since the lecturer had bailed out on us like this, no attendance was expected to be taken. That took us TWO whole hours to finally realize. So, we felt kinda dumb for wasting so much time there, sitting around doing nothing. [Or was it just me?]
Everyone in the lab was pretty much partying. Nobody seemed to be doing anything with regards to the lil project. Very different from the usual lab sessions.
That was why the rest finally decided to skip their evening class and visit the PC Fair in KL. [Please do not learn. Hehe...] Eh, I was not included in that list, kay. =p
Oh, and external hard disks are especially a hit among everybody now? Seems like everyone is checking out to buy one. Maybe I should consider buying another one too? How about 1Tb?!~ Hehehe...
Anyway, bought nothing there. Miraculously, none of us bought anything there. =.=

Double oh, today I went to the Pavilion for the first time. Hmm, I wouldn't mind shopping there one time. Even if it's only for window shopping. Hehe.
Reason we went today was only to buy donuts. As usual, buying half a dozen back home again. Sister's favourite. ^^

Right. Gotta stop talking about my day. Too tired to brag, gotta pack to go home. ^^

Update?

I cannot believe people listened to my rantings like drama. To the extent that ada orang minta updates nih.
Hey, these are just rants and my thoughts at times ok. Not any TVB dramas. =p

Erm, right then. Er, here goes. Some lil updates just so you would know I ain't in the emotional mood now. [No guarantees that it won't be back, now or later. =p]
Everything had taken a whole new change of direction since last week. Thursday, to be exact. It may seemed to have happened too quickly, and it was very much as if I had got some PMS-thingy running or mood swing or anything of the kind, but aren't you glad for me too? Now that it's over?

I would not deny I still think alot now, even right at this moment. But I'm trying to make the best out of everything, live the best out of everyday. The dilemma had been for I-don't-know-how-long [maybe a month, maybe two, I don't know], I'm just glad that one thing is cleared. Now, time to live for the second one, third one... ><

If only I can live without worrying so much about what the future holds. But that ain't quite Elaine of me, don't you think? =p
Wish me luck. *winks*

An Eventful Day.

Was officially out of my home for a whole 17 and a half hours.
Started the day at 9am, woke up and got ready for class. After class, I followed Yamunah to the library [I need to start studying myself also]. Then in the evening, I got another 2 hours class again, of which I just 'fish' my way through. I just felt so tired and sleepy, my bodily function is really screwed up. Hadn't had good night sleeps for few weeks now. Just lately, it's getting worse, added on with the fact that I sleep late and waking up really frigging early. The fact that I'm sensing a flu coming my way doesn't help either. But it's funny how it is coming and yet not coming. [If you know what I mean.]

After class at 5pm, went back to the library cause sorta promised Yam to stay. I suddenly was up, awake and kicking. Started studying for 15 minutes and I decided not to go home, but I never brought something [I thought] pretty important with me. So, I texted. Somehow, just somehow that I don't know how, it was brought towards a very wrong direction. =___=

7pm came and it's time for lab. Today's lab was prolonged straight till 9pm. Right on time for our MESCORP's outing. But heck, John cheated with his "KL cafe" line. Li Ping told it's Luna Bar that we're going to. Grrr.
Fine. I'm alright. I just don't like the fact that they're not telling me, knowing I wouldn't have agreed to go if they have told. LOL anyway. :)

Well, I had fun, but was very very very tired though. Truthfully, thank God it was Ladies' Night, so I needn't pay a single penny to get in. *blerk* Just for the girls. La la la~~

Thanks for all the people around! ;)

'Gotta Go My Own Way'

I gotta say what's on my mind
Something about us doesn't seem right these days
Life keeps getting in the way
Whenever we try, somehow the plan is always rearranged
It's so hard to say,
But I gotta do what's best for me
You'll be okay

I've got to move on and be who I am
I just don't belong here, I hope you understand
We might find a place in this world someday
But at least for now, I gotta go my own way

Don't wanna leave it all behind
But I get my hopes up and I watch them fall every time
Another color turns to gray
And it's just too hard to watch it all slowly fade away
I'm leaving today
Cause I gotta do what's best for me
You'll be okay

I've got to move on and be who I am
I just don't belong here, I hope you understand
We might find a place in this world someday
But at least for now, I gotta go my own way

What about us?
What about everything we've been through?
What about trust?
You know I never wanted to hurt you
And what about me?
What am I supposed to do?
I gotta leave but
I'll miss you...

So...
I've got to move on and be who I am
(Why do you have to go?)
I just don't belong here, I hope you understand
(I'm trying to understand)
We might find a place in this world someday
But at least for now
(I want you to stay)
I gotta go my own way
I've got to move on and be who I am
(What about us?)
I just don't belong here, I hope you understand
(I'm trying to understand)

We might find a place in this world someday
But at least for now...
I gotta go my own way
I gotta go my own way
I gotta go my own way.

My life is all about me, have always been and should stay to be.
I've been engaged in a dream for far too long, it's time to be sober once again. =)

Just When I Thought It's Over.

I'm feeling so happy for the past two days, minus the occasional sting. Hanging out with just the girls is just so relaxing. There's no need to think nor the need to worry. You just be who you are, you're free to love, free to hate.

As I thought I would be able to start anew after today, I was cruelly reminded of what I feared. Something that I wished never to happen. A situation I never wanted to be in.
I finally realized there's nothing I can do to change it anymore. I had been in it for far too long, unconsciously and quite naturally.
In two different situations now, I wondered where had I gone wrong. I lived my life the way it goes, and I was told I was wrong. But was I really wrong?

I used to blame it on the fact that I graduated from an all-girls school, but if you would think about it, I grew to be far better from the others who're from a similar school.
I am glad to say I treat my [close] friends equally [applicable only if you don't annoy me], regardless of gender.
Perhaps it is wrong to you, but is it really wrong? Do friends really have to be divided in such a sense?

Somehow what I was said of gets to me, and a twitch was felt. I know the reason why. Perhaps I am really at fault? But what is the offense? Who am I guilty to?
I can't explain why but I'm feeling so messed up right now.
I wish to just runaway and never come back, never to be reminded again.

Care-free Again.

For a day, at least. After a whole five days of I-don't-know-what-to-..., today has finally come a better day.
In the morning when I woke up, I actually wasn't in the fittest condition to go out. But I had to [as I was so-called the organizer] and I want to [cause I don't exactly wanna stay alone]. Come the end of the day, I have no regrets at all.

Since we went for Dark Knight yesternight, I woke up a lil later than I was supposed to. Sleeping at 5am, I think I did just fine being able to leave home to KL-town by 11. Haha. We're supposed to meet up at 12 though. [Oops.]

Well, though many couldn't make it today, it was still great seeing these 7 people again. And to be frank, too big a group of people hanging out at one time for gathering like this isn't such a good idea. Lesson learnt.
But I still hope one day we could be able to gather EVERYBODY back together once again. It'll be so cool. ^o^

Nothing much has changed about these 7, and boy, were we noisy as ever. o.O
Mabel especially, of course. The ever-cute one, never afraid to just be who she is. The momma's girl, though. ^^
See Mei, the ever-I-don't-care-what-you-think girl. But she's still nice in nature. :)
Cheryl, the ever-selamba one. Gossiping with her is especially entertaining. =D
Shelva, the ever-lost one. She can understand Cantonese ok! So, she ain't that lost afterall. ;)
ET, the ever...whoa! Gosh, we were so surprised of what a shopaholic she had transformed to be over the years! Ahakz! XD
Catherine, the ever-studious one. The paling worrying one. Haihz. >.<
And [not in the photo] Kuan Gaik, the ever-vain one. Haha! [She's so gonna kill me if she reads this.] @@

I've never seen some of them for so long, I am just so glad we are still able to just be and hang out.
Shopping apart, I especially love talking to them [or rather sometimes, see/hear them talk]. The things that we say are all just so...pointless, at times. Haha. But I guess that's the fun of it. We just say, or act, however we are. No need for pretenses.

Sometimes I wish so badly to have these moments for a longer time, but I have to be back to reality. Reality had been cruel, but that's how I grow.
I'm looking forward to have another gathering with the girls again definitely.
For now, I gotta refresh myself and get some rest. Tomorrow will be another day out with another bunch of girls, my housemates.
We're hitting the mall again, for the first time just the 3 of us.
I'm tired, yes. Very tired indeed. But mentally, I'm just glad my weekend is pretty much occupied. ^^

Happy Birthday Mommy!!

Blessed be! May you have a great great day ahead!

If it wasn't for today in 1952, I don't know what becomes of me now. I thank Gramma for you! =D
For all the years in my life, thanks for being there and be the mother. Most importantly, thanks for opening up to me and be my great friend. It may have seemed awkward at first, but hey~ we did well. Haha. I remember how you scolded me for being such a kid. o.O

Wish I'm home, but I think this is the fourth year I'm away for your birthday. Certainly remembered the first year being away again! Ahakz. The 'dumb' thing I did that time just to substitute for my absence.
This year, my stupidity will improve just a lil. But it gotta wait... *winks*

Ficklemindedness.

After a great long chat with a really close friend, I'm still very much in a dilemma. Not knowing what I want, not knowing what to do. [It's back, it's back!! ><]
It was pretty sudden that I decided to talk to her about it, though I had wanted to do so for long. Not bad, I finally had the nerve to tell her.

As I was telling her about practically the whole stuffs and stories, I find myself annoying. Reason? I am fickle-minded, I am unsure of this and that and the worst part...the whole conversation was filled with "I duno".
Brrr...I know, it's just a matter of time that she'll grab something, anything available anywhere and hit it on me. Hehe. *sighs*

Thing was I didn't quite know what or how I want to tell her. I was even afraid that words wouldn't come out right, and meanings will be distorted/redirected. You'll never know how scary situations will be then.
And the other thing is, my mind is playing tricks on me. Everytime I'm telling this, that'll be in my head as well. Thus the twist and turning of words, because all of them are pushing their way through, not wanting to miss the drama.

Before we started on the conversation, I never expected that we would come up with any conclusion.
And true enough, even at the end of the conversation and until now, I have no conclusion in mind nor am I ready to make one. And yes, I wish to have one.
One more thing I just found out is that the reason I am telling her all these was probably just to hear someone says,

"It's okay. I agree with you. You can do that. Don't worry about it. Just go ahead with it."

Something like that. It's bad, really bad. But basically, I guess it's all I really want. Just so I know I have someone backing me up and supporting my acts. [Provided that it comes from her truly, of course.]

Thank God she never said that just to satisfy me. And I'm truly thankful for this friend to be there and listen and not wanting to kill me...yet. Hehe.
Thanks, girl. I might just come and kacau you even more in the future. *gasps*

Paused Array.

As randomly as it came, it is gonna be paused with pure randomness
[or suddenness] as well. Ah, at least for awhile.
Partly because I am kinda drained out. Nothing actually went whoosh-ing by for the past few days. As a matter of fact, I was pretty busy with this and that for a lil while that I didn't even wanna do much thinking.
Another reason would be because I wanna blog of something else in between too!!

But up till today, I had had half a dozen of the quests. If you have noticed, I have chosen not to reply to the comments. Not because I don't appreciate the comments [so, keep it coming *winks*], but truly only because it isn't something I wanna debate about. Instead, it is only something I had been pondering about and felt like sharing [or rather questioning].
I've read the comments posted, and responded to comments which came directly through the instant messages. Many actually suspected that I am troubled. Maybe I am, maybe I ain't afterall.
All I'm saying is, it's just stuffs that I think about. Oh, c'mon. Don't you think too? =p

Anyhow, thank you all for the concern. Yet, I'm fine...at least maybe for now.
Be prepared for more of these to come along in the future aight? *winks*
Maybe another half a dozen of these will come rolling by some time soon.
And keep thinking, people. That's pretty much the only characteristic that [supposedly] differentiates us from mere animals.
So, great people think alot and question even more. *grins*


p/s:
Ever since I changed my cellphone, I don't really remember birthdays. At least not until someone comes along and reminds me. So, my apologies.
I am, though, trying my best-est to re-enter all you people's birthdays into the new phone, set with reminders. Bear with me ya. =)
So, anyway Happy Birthday to Melanie and Alvin Lay [my old housemate] who both turned 21 on July 1st, Ming Soon and Mabel who celebrated 21st and 20th birthday respectively on July 7th and 8th. Hope you guys had a blessed birthday! *cheers*

....Shhh, did I miss out anyone? ><

What Would You Do? (Quest 6)

What would you do if a decision you make is bound for heartaches in the future?

Do you still opt for that decision though knowingly predicted the future of it?
Do you opt for that decision in faith that whatever happens next is probably something you can control or change?
Do you opt for that decision with the effort to prevent the prediction from befalling?
Do you opt for that decision simply because you wanted to, you loved to?
Do you opt for that decision after a serious long thoughts over it?

OR

Do you avoid making the decision because you fear of what the future holds?
Do you avoid in hopes that situations will be less complicated before you need to make the decision again?
Do you avoid because you wanna save all the hurt to yourself and to the people around you?
Do you avoid because you have had enough of thinking and would just loved to forget about it?

What would you do?

What Would You Do? (Quest 5)

What would you do if your loved or trusted ones hurt you?

A simple lie, a simple word, a simple act, a simple misunderstanding,
a simple inunderstanding, a simple neglection, a simple miscommunication.
However 'simple' all of these may be, you are hurt.

Do you confront the person and express your agony?
Do you hold grudges and await for the time when you can finally take revenge?
Do you act like nothing had happened, and proceed with life as normal?
Do you end whatever contact with the person to never be reminded of the grieves?
Do you forgive and forget, taking into account that it was only a simple thing and because you still love/trust the person?
Do you publicly tell off what the person had done to you [sometimes with the risk of maybe hurting yourself even further]?
Do you inflict guilt upon yourself, believing it was all your fault?

What would you do?

What Would You Do? (Quest 4)

What would you do if you find yourself to be THE hypocrite?

You know how people will tell other people how he/she should do this and that and all. The right steps to take. The logical do's and don'ts.

To criticize the way a person acts, in words that the act is wrong and is not of any sane person's act. To despise a person's character, in utterance of disgust.

Now everyone would expect that this smarty-pants would be the role model of the cakap-cakap. But truthfully, how many of us could seriously be the saint?

To find out that you yourself are the one wronging the wrong.
To find out that you yourself are becoming the person you loathe.

Do you accept it and admit that you were wrong about your comments before [and probably now too, if at all your comments were wrong]?
Do you deny what you have done [and are probably still doing] because it is not something to be proud of?
Do you continue being the hypocrite that you are, with full conscience of the truth?
Do you try to change your wrongs in hopes to rectify yourself?

What would you do?

What Would You Do? (Quest 3)

What would you do if you are given another shot, another chance of choice?

A shot that comes along unexpectedly.

A chance to re-do what you have done, but was not considered to be enough.

A choice to accept or reject, based solely on your own contemplations of it.

A decision that would affect you anyhow, either positively or negatively.

Question is, do you give the offer a thought, a serious consideration?

Do you list out all the pros and cons of the offer, putting more effort in emphasizing the good side of it?

Do you believe that this is another sign from God, for whatever matter the offer is directly or indirectly supposedly related to?

Do you accept the offer just for the sake of what it would be of to you in the future?
Or do you accept the offer because you merely think it is beneficial to you, in one way or another, now or later?
Or maybe you accept the offer because you made yourself believe that it is what you really want?
Or maybe even that you accept the offer due to pressure of any kind; peer, family, financial, etc?

Do you reject the offer for the fact that it reaches to you at the wrong time?
Or do you reject the offer because you say you won't be able to handle it, not even wanting to give it another try before concluding?
Or maybe you reject the offer because you are egoistic?
Or maybe even that you reject the offer because you are inconfident?

What would you do?
Note: If you accept the offer because you have nothing better to do or reject because you have a better offer to grab, don't bother to answer. *winks*

What Would You Do? (Quest 2)

What would you do if you get disappointed?

Be it of yourself, your loved ones, your friends or merely just the people around you.
Be it because of some serious matters, some unimportant matters [maybe to others but not to you], some minor issues that you just have to learn to live with or merely just some incidents breezing through your life.

Now, do you keep your disappointment to yourself, or tell it to a really close friend?
Do you keep thinking about the disappointment in heart despite every effort to forget, or bring yourself down to learn to live with the simple fact of disappointments?
Do you ache in the mind and soul over the disappointment, or get over it and forget?
Do you cry with every means to just let it all out, or stay tough and tell yourself it was all nothing?
Do you continue to give sanctuary to your disappointment, or correct the disappointment?

What would you do?

What Would You Do? (Quest 1)

What would you do if you find yourself living a mistake?

Do you continue living the mistake just because you are loving it, because you wanted to, or because you have to?
Do you continue living the mistake despite whatever you feel; guilt, queasiness, uncertainty, etc etc?
Do you continue living the mistake even knowing what it would lead to?
Do you continue living the mistake thinking it is what you SHOULD do?

OR

Do you stop living the mistake because you're unsure what you really feel?
Do you stop living the mistake because you never know what the future really holds, how things are even in the next minute?
Do you stop living the mistake because you convinced yourself it is wrong?
Do you stop living the mistake because you fear of what others think or say?

What would you do?

Rainy Appreciation Night.

It was supposed to be a BBQ party. Everything was prepared, done, ready. Then, the rain clouds passed by and refused to leave.

*sighs* Party was crashed, and plans had to be changed LAST MINUTE.
Instead of the poolside venue, we all bunked into my house. Big difference. But still thank God the house is presentable. *taking pride!* Hehe.
And instead of BBQ-ing, all food was cooked with other methods. Boiling, steaming, frying, deep frying...you name it [except BBQ-ing larh].
Yet again, thank God for how things turned out in the end anyway. Thank God you guys loved the food cooked, though it was nothing compared to what it would be if BBQ-ed.

I was really worried at first because we decided to change the plan only the hour before the party was supposed to begin, after realizing the rain is not gonna stop for us. Even if the rain stops, the wind would not allow us to startup any fire.
But by hook or by crook, I ain't gonna cancel no party. And boy, was I glad I didn't.

My house was really in the happening-mode yesternight. We had music pumping out loud, humans trying to out-sound the speakers and food! Hehe. It was really cool to see so many people getting together and all. I love parties! *blushes*
[Oh, sorry Shad, no piccies larh. No time plus me no camera. >< ]
But boy, am I tired by the end of the night! I am totally beat. Am so lazy to do anything else too.

Now that everything is cleaned up, it's time to get some rest. Tomorrow will be a long day, since it is the first day of clubs' registration week. Added on to the hours of classes I'm forced to attend, I need all the sleep I can get now. [If only I can sleep as I want though.]
Well, remember to come over to CARE Club's booth and get yourself registered ya. *winks*
Good night~!


p/s:
Not to forget, a BIG thank you especially for all the help and support in ensuring this party went on smoothly. Sure kelam-kabut I'll be if it hadn't been you around. >< Well, you know who you are, if you're reading. ;)

'Age Of Glory'

Oh...my...God!
Believe it or not, I actually just finished watching the whole of a Malaysian drama.
Read my lips. M-a-l-a-y-s-i-a-n drama.
Not missing one episode, nor a scene. The first for me.

It was aired on Ntv7, and I watched a lil back in Penang during the holidays. Captured the drama-freak in me and I was determined to watch the whole of it. And I did, thanks to Ntv7.
I actually watched it from the Ntv7 webpage. [Pretty amazing streaming speed, I'd say.]

Imagine this from me, I have not complained a BIT of the drama, yet.
Miraculously enough, I am even complimenting it and promoting it to my friends.
They asked why do I watch such drama. My answer is pretty simple, because it is a Malaysian production and it is so worthy to be given the credits.
Trust me when I say so. It's hard to hear it from me too, especially about Malaysian dramas. You know how they used to suck in acting and how bad their storylines are.

But..this is a totally different thing from those typical Malaysian drama.
With Debbie Goh as the lead actress, I love the drama even more.
She is so convincing with her role that you might just cry together with her
[at the last episode, if you are a crying-drama-queen]. It was really touching and seemed so real. For the first time ever, they had made the perfect casting.

So, what's the drama about?
Well, it's about the life of a typical Malaysian girl back in the 60's and 70's.
About how she ranaway from home with her lover [I doubt she even knows that she loves him when she ranaway with him] after a dispute with the father, got into trouble when the lover turns to a gambling-addict and eventually turning her life upside-down. Her life was pretty much screwed up but she got back up on her own two feet and hung on with the flow of life. Tough girl, I'd say. I could never imagine doing the things she does.
Reality check, I don't have to. *phew*

The other two girls came into the picture later and became her two bestest friends. By luck, I'd say. You know how this fate thing goes anyway.
Aenie Wong stars as a servant at the beginning and you will see how her life evolves, while Daniella Dai is this singer-wannabe from a fishing village.
Of the three, I'm not especially fond of Daniella's role [or rather acting, or just her scripts?]. I don't know.

'Nuff said. Check it out yourself. ;)
This is a truly Malaysian Boleh drama, uh. *winks*


p/s:
Oh, and the theme song is absolutely awesome! Anyone has the mp3 version of it? =p
Double oh, did you know Debbie was a Miss Chinese International Malaysia back in 1998? Patutlah so pretty. Hehe. Her voice is super-sweet too!
Triple oh, I saw Mei Fen in the drama. *LOL* It felt a lil weird though. Haha.