Friday, The Thirteenth.

All these while, I have always tried to avoid acting superstitious on Friday the 13th. That's because I can't remember a single (total) bad day on Friday the 13th. But today proved otherwise.

It's probably the worst day by far. After a whole lot of regaining period. I can't believe it could get worse. But it left me in shock. You left me in shock.

I really don't know what to do, nor should do. I don't even feel like doing anything at all, anymore. I was lost.

I really thought, no matter what happened or what I did, this was not going to repeat. But why do you prove it to me so differently?

Just when I told myself in the morning to have no fear for what-so-ever Friday the 13th, that's when it started that I realize everything is happening. Oh, damn the radio for reminding me.

But always, a whole hell-of-a-day is never too harsh on me. Thank God it was Friday anyway. Thank God my Mummy is in KL. Thank God for making me a strong girl now. Though as tough as I can be, I'm still in blur.

No matter what, I'm thankful it's over. But only God knows what'll be next. At least for the next few days, I cannot foresee how it will all be. God leads the way, please shine your light on me.

The Time Traveler's Wife.

This movie is simply just superrr-dee-duper! And those of you who have yet watched it, shoo on to the cinema now. Haha. Unpaid publicity. *gosh!*

I first heard of it on radio, but paid no attention to it. Then Yam came along and said it was wayyy better than she expected.

It was a movie day (for us), and we had no particular show in mind that we crave for. Michael Jackson: This is it, was gonna have to wait. The road is clear for The Time Traveler's Wife!

When it started, I thought it was gonna be JUST another romance movie, where they all live happily ever after. Bla bla bla. Boring, I know.

But little did I know, I was the one hoping that it is just another movie with happy ending towards the end. (Oops, spoiler alert!!)

I would've wept uncontrollably if the ending scene was to be just a fraction longer. *sobz*

Well, here's the thing. I didn't get to the cinema on time for the commercials, so I was a little lost at the beginning. (Haha. YES! It meant I was late for the movie! Gosh!)

Fortunately, it didn't take long before the plot sets in. Lucky for me, I came across the book in the bookstore earlier. So, I did have a look at the short synopsis behind it. :)

And yes again, it meant we didn't know what we were up for when we purchased the movie passes. =p

Before you watch this movie, you'd better be prepared and know what's coming your way. So, here, I'm giving you some help! Hahaha.

Lemme extract what I read from the back of the book. Lemme think...think.

So, Clare met Henry when she was 6 and he was over 30. That was the first time she met him. Henry met Clare when he was 28 and she was 20. That's the first time ever he met her. She knew everything about him, while he doesn't know her.

It sounded weird, but that's how the story goes. An incredible love story to make you really struggle to believe it alive. It makes you wonder more, wanting to know more.

But the ending was too heart-wrenching. I heard that the book has a different ending to it. The book is the next that I'm gonna buy, and hopefully to finish reading in the very near future.

Oh, one advice, tuck your rationale-seeking self to a corner when you watch this movie. Enjoy! *winks*

New November, Foreseen Hectic Days.

Sister came and went back. If only she could have stayed longer, then we could have done more shopping together in KL. *sigh*

I was supposed to have gone to Johor Bahru with him, but there had been a change in plan at the very last minute. I felt really bad about it, but I had to do what I have to do.

I had to stay back. God knows how it would be if I hadn't. :)

Last you heard from me was pleading for September to ends. Now, October ended too. And here comes November.

Gosh, October was too fast. I had alot to update but just had no time!!! Once I finished internship, I had gone on a real holiday! Best, longest holiday I had by far. From the south to the north of Malaysia. In and out of Malaysia, too. Out for only a day. Better than none. *winks*

I've done alot of shopping too. Which is really bad. I've spent alot, too much that I need to start thinking of ways to generate real cash! Hehe. Any ideas, or suggestion?

That was the beginning of October, and I will be updating soon about all that I have done (real hopeful). And hell yeah, I'm supposed to be busy working on giving my FYP its starting momentum right now. But what am I doing?

Hehe. I had a great weekend. Too great that it isn't stressful enough to get me going. Worst of all, I can't seem to get the stuffs I want and need. I'm not even sure if I could get it all done.

Have I made a wrong choice? Don't tell. Shush. I don't need to know. :)

Wish me luck for the months to come. Cheers!

One Day Is Too Short, And Too Long.

All at the same time. Why can't we just manipulate time and space, just like Hiro Nakamura, just to be able to do what we like? Oh, right. Cause we're in REALITY.

Yes, I'm watching too much of movies. Heroes, in particular. Blame me not. I'm trying to catchup on the episodes I have missed since Season 3, when I couldn't get my hands on the downloads. And eventually, I've missed the whole season and the new one too. That said, I have lots of watching to be done. :)

Waiting, and waiting. Awaiting my Daddy and Mummy to pick me up, then we'll be off to pick up my Jie Jie. That's after bidding goodbye to him. Sorry, I couldn't stay on the plan. It was really unexpected for me too. I wish to be there too. I was excited for it, in fact. Oh well, there's the other chance for better celebrations. :) I can't wait!

One day. Sis coming and leaving tomorrow, with Dad. Back to Penang. *sobz*

Just one day. He'll be back from the south. *yay*

One day. Oh, how short and long it seemed. All at the same time. *sigh*

Anyhow, I guess I'd want to make it the long one. Let's try to have some fun, Sister. :) I'm glad you're here.

Insecurity Is Painful...

...to the 'F', to the 'Y', to the 'P'!

It's so stressful. To think that I have started early, there are people who have started even earlier than I was. Way earlier. I've lost. But it ain't official. I believe I still have the chance. As long as I am not rejected, I would not give up. God forbids. :)

I've sent in the second proposal. As per requested. Is it gonna be accepted? Oh, please God, let it be. I don't know what I'll do if I don't get it. Well, I do have a second backup plan. But seriously, God, it doesn't seem quite like a very good plan. Don't you think so too?

Yet God, it seemed very convincing that there is no need for second plan. How'd You do that?! I have it in me, something keeps telling me not to worry. It's all gonna be alright. I'm worrying over nothing.

Am I? I prefer an answer quick. Or I meant, a quick answer. Hehe. I just need an answer!! I don't wanna be wondering, guessing anymore. Please, please, please. Pretty, please?

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Updated on 29th October 2009.

What can I say?! It's confirmed!! God is gooooooood!! I knew it all along! It was gonna be just fineeeeeeee. *big grin*

Thank you, God! Thank you, Dr Ong! Haha. But still, it wasn't pleasant at first. *sulks*

Oh well. I've got a title now. I'm gonna work hard to keep it, and to secure an A!! Hopefully. ^^

Wake Me Up When September Ends.

Somehow this Green Day's song has finally meant something to me already. Haha. Before, there was never a reason why would I be anticipating for September to end.

But right now, I can't wait for the 30th to comeeeeeeeeeee. Oh c'mon already!

It isn't like I have anymore of assignments or such to work on anymore. I have been just sitting around since like a month or more already!! I've had enough!!

Can you imagine reading news from The Star online to New Straits Times online to New York Times online?! Gosh!! I've never seen myself more interested in the sadness of the world. Not like I wanted to anyway. I even know news from the Tuol Sleng! *sobz*

Still, I guess the worst part of all news would be the political state in Malaysia! Satu Malaysia!! Malaysia setentunya boleh! :P

Please kindly wake me up only when September ends. Three more days to go, counting down. ;)

I've so much to do! So many plans to be initiated! Weeeee~~

*p/s: Sorry for the lack of updates. Will do it soon. Be prepared to see lotsa backdated posts *winks* Cheers, people. Off for now. :)

Admittedly Angry Over Unworthy Stuffs.

I'm angry. Why is it my fault? What have you said so unfairly to make people think that you are innocent and it is my fault to cause these situations to happen?

I really don't understand. Have I done wrong avoiding myself when I don't feel invited? When I don't feel welcomed? I don't blame you for putting on a show with your expressions when you see me or any other time at all. It's your face. But I won't avoid from admitting that I don't like it. You have the freedom to frown and be rude, but I also have the freedom to stay clear of what I despise seeing. And to be frank, I'm glad I'm off radar.

At first, I was stupid enough to feel uneasy thinking what could you have said. Thank God it didn't last long. Cause then again, you know what. I don't even care. I can't always be bothered of what you think and to worry of what you'd say to people. Even though that it's not true.

I'm still glad I made the right move, the right choice. Having done all that in my part did not mean I was being offensive, I was merely saving my own butt. I certainly ain't gonna engage in any arguments or anything of that such with any of you. It just isn't worthy. :) I've learnt better than to do that. So don't try to overdo anything at all.

Bottomline, I'm happy with the way and the direction my life is leading to now. You don't make a difference. Praise to the Lord. Peace out!

Go Away, Whatever-You-Are!!

You're making me ache all day, all night. The pain you're causing me! Heck! If only I know what you are, it'll be easier then to counter-attack you.

At first, I totally thought it was just an ulcer. An ulcer grown at a very, very, very wrong spot. And so I thought it would go away pretty soon. Well, ulcer do go away eventually in like, a couple of days, right? Well, at least based on experience, mine did most of the time. The longest it took was probably just 4 days (I guess?). Hehe.

But it's been almost two weeks. So why is it still here?!

I did suspect that it wasn't ulcer after a week actually, so I did what I didn't dare to do before (cause it hurt alot, understand? *sobz*). I used my finger to inspect on the "crime-scene". The crime: hurting Elaine. The scene: gap between the wisdom tooth and upper jaw.

As I reckoned, it truly was a swell. But whyyyyyyyy? =( It hurts alot! I can't open my mouth bigger than an inch (or lesser). I can't open my mouth to feed myself like normal. Worse of all, I can't chew! Even drinking water hurts. Oh, not to mention my saliva! *wails!*

I'm taking my medicines now. And even that hurts. It still ain't subsiding. Help!!

Damn you, wisdom tooth! I know you're the cause. So said my docs too! I hate you. But I'm too phobic to get rid of you. Haha. Oh, the dilemma.

It's Finally Tomorrow.

It really seemed easy at first. To be away from one another in these four months. I never see it as a challenge, nor did I see it as a test. All it seemed from the very beginning was, it's a good thing to be able to go home. Our homes, respectively. I'm sure our parents missed us well.

"Four months isn't really as long as it sounds. With a blink of an eye, it's all gone," I found myself saying. That was obviously before, a month ago to be exact.

But it was a no-regret sorta thing. I'm still glad we're able to spend the time at home even if it meant spending the time away from being together. I sound too generous, don't I? Haha. Bear in mind, it's only for four months.

Three weeks have passed, and it's going to be finally tomorrow! Oh, the eagerness and excitement. And the nervousness!! Haha. Yes, hell yeah, I'm nervous. Which is probably the reason why these three weeks was much more of a brief anyway.

I'll be waiting for tomorrow to come. I'm sure you'll score well anyway. ^o^

If I Were There.

Have you ever been in a situation when you are listening to a story told and wished you were there to slap the antagonist back to conciousness?

Well, I have. I've been in a lot of such situations for the past few days especially (never to mention, in my life). Not only was i wishing to slap the antagonist, sometimes I wish I could smack everyone else in it as well. I was practically shouting in my mind, "Oh holy mother of God! Wake up, you idiots!!".

But as sad as it may or would be, thoughts remained as it is, thoughts. Whatever we thought we would do could never be done. One obvious reason is of course, we weren't there at the time it happens. But more importantly is the fact that we still have that little space left from the boundaries of our limits. And this space is what keeps us from bursting into loud gestures, to keep our cool.

For my case. I guess it would be because I never had the privilege to slap and smack anyone in the story. I'm the little character who is expected to just remain silent and keep mum. I'm the background tree that could only listen and sway but never speak up.

Heck, I won't be dumb. There will come a day when I will be there and you (whoever you are) would be getting a piece of MY mind. A frigging huge piece indeed. You just wait for it. Patience has its limits. Peace out!