Do You Remember? (Thought 6)

Do you remember the time when someone dear leaves?
Do you remember the pain you felt knowing he/she ain't coming back?
Do you remember praying it was all just a bad dream, and you'll eventually wake up?
Do you remember missing him/her in things you used to do together?

It's nearing 7 years since my grandmother passed away. I only knew 2 of my grandparents since birth, maternal grandmother and paternal grandfather. To me, my Por Por is the one we're closer to and sayang the most. She's the one we could only meet when we balik kampung to Kepong Ulu. Those were the holidays I always look forward to. And at every end of the holidays, I'll weep my way back to Penang. And continue sobbing for the next couple of days.

I used to write to her quite frequently when I was in primary, but it gradually stopped. It didn't mean I loved her any lesser anyway.
I used to be in KL for almost every long school holidays, but that gradually got lesser too. I don't see her often but it also certainly never meant I missed her any lesser.

Is it true that pain dies with time? Is it true that we will eventually forget someone after parting? Why do life seemed so fragile, and death has to be part of it?
Are you really watching us from where you are above there? Do you miss us? Would you come back if I wish hard enough? At least to say our final goodbye?

Por Por, I miss you every now and then. I'll never forget the day when we got the news. I still regret the fact that we never had a chance for our last goodbye. I have so much to ask you, to tell you.
Now all that is left is really the sweet memories of you. I love you.

Do You Remember? (Thought 5)

Do you remember the time when you have the worst nightmare?
Do you remember trying your hardest to wake up, but it was all just in vain?
Do you remember having the tingling knowing that it's all ridiculous to be happening, yet still drawn to believe it?
Do you remember the fear you had inside the dream, and even outside after waking up?

I've been having alot of dreams lately. In one night, I could have 3 different weird dreams. That probably explains why I'm always so tired even after hours and hours of sleep. [That's not an excuse. :P]
Anyway, I had another weird dream yesternight. No, wait. Lemme rephrase that.
I had a weird nightmare yesternight.

Morpheus played this tremendously huge prank on me. And it wasn't the first time. However, at least this time all's well in the dream alas. Though, it is still very very unpleasant.
I remember the first felt so real, it didn't seemed like a dream. It made me so scared even after waking up. I was just a little kid back then fearing for the worst with no one to tell it to. And all I wanted was to make sure everybody is safe and sound. I still do.

When you sleep, you try to escape from the real world. From all the stress, the workloads, the misery, just almost of anything that you wanna runaway from but couldn't in the real life. And that's when you dream. Of course it'd be always wonderful if you dream of beautiful things. But what is life when everything's just perfectly pretty? :)
When you dream, you enter into a mysterious world where rules of reality just don't apply. No matter how hard you try to make sense out of it, it just don't. But somehow you believe it anyhow in your dream, simply because you're in it.

Do dreams mean anything implicitly? If yes, what could they mean? What could be the message tried to be conveyed? Or are dreams just a method of liberating you from the real world for awhile? Then, what about nightmares? What's their purpose? Just to scare you abit more than you can take?

Do You Remember? (Thought 4)

Do you remember the time when your supposed best buddy turns his/her back at you?
Do you remember the time when your best buddy betrays you?
Do you remember the time when you got just so disappointed but am too frustrated to talk about it anymore?
Do you remember losing your best buddy?

I remember vividly, and I really thought it'll never happen again. At least not with this one buddy. The best-buddy. However, I was proven wrong.
It shows how weak a friendship could mean. Maybe you would say, perhaps it wasn't friendship in the first place. Because true friends will never do that to you right? But I really believed in it to be true. At least it was true until now. I hope.

I'm disappointed and I cannot deny that. I'm frustrated and I'll never hide that. I'm angry but it will subside. I'll remember every single moment of this. I'll be more careful from now on.

What could have gone wrong? Do our bond really meant to be that weak and fragile to you? Was I supposed to have seen it coming? Was I supposed to have back-off before it happens?

Still, I thank every true buddies who stuck by me through thick and thin. You know who you are. It wasn't about how big the gesture, it's about how big your heart is. It's purely about how much love you guys showered on me unconditionally. :)

Do You Remember? (Thought 3)

Do you remember when someone breaks his/her promise to you?
Do you remember anticipating for it only to have it broken?
Do you remember feeling the frustration when that person couldn't even remember what he/she had promised and hence broken?
Do you remember feeling the urge to believe the next promise, yet have the lingering fear?

I remember the empty promises I had been given since young. My parents especially used to do that to me, just for the sake of shutting me up. It didn't really matter much back then. Even if those special trips to amusement parks were never realized or crazily expensive presents were never bought, it didn't matter. It's not because I've forgotten about them. It just didn't matter. Guess I knew it's ridiculous somehow.

As I grew older, I thought promises would be made based on trust. And so I trusted. And anticipated.
The frustration you feel when you finally realize it was forgotten by the other party could just tear you into half. Yes, probably it's a little exaggerated but if you would consider the degree of importance of the promise, you'd think differently.

Did I trust wrongly? Or did I just anticipated for the impossible? Was the promise made just to shut me up? Was it just not important to you as it is to me?

Do You Remember? (Thought 2)

Do you remember when some days, or maybe dates, were important to you?
Do you remember anticipating for it, hoping that something special would happen on that day?
Do you remember having disappointments when the day finally arrives?
Do you remember when you finally gave up cherishing any special dates?

I was one who anticipates for some special dates and days, on which we could celebrate and remember of together. It doesn't have to be anything fancy, as long as it's memorable. That when you reminisce back in time, you'd never forget how sweet or special that one time is. You'd always want to remember that one time, especially the firsts.
Memories that'll make you smile just thinking of it. Memories that'll make you hold on to this world no matter how harsh it gets. All those sweet memories.

I'm not sure if I've given up cherishing special dates. I don't think I could ever have anyway. But I do stop myself from anticipating anything special. At least I guess I've learnt my lesson not to expect too much. Perhaps so. Perhaps I finally understand one thing I've always wondered about since young.

Are special days just celebrated for the sake of celebrating it? Could these special days go by anyhow without any celebrations? It wouldn't kill anyway, right? So, why does it hurt sometimes? Why is it still loitering around my head agitating me? Will it ever go away?

Do You Remember? (Thought 1)

Do you remember the day when it's April Fool's Day at least ten years back?
Do you remember the excitement knowing it's the day when playing a prank on others had been seemingly legal?
Do you remember how foolish you felt when you were victimized?
Do you remember laughing and be laughed at?

Ah, I most certainly remember all those moments. Simple days with simple minds. When kids were having fun, just fooling around. When we used to have so much laughs, even at the simplest prank. Oh, the care-free days.

This year, I've not played any prank nor was I prank-ed. It probably ain't the first year this had happened. As a matter of fact, I don't remember anything about it the last year, or the year before, or even the year before.

Sometimes I wondered where did all those times go. Did we grow out of it? Or did we just simply throw it away? Was all the kids' fun too much to handle by the adults? Or was it that we just don't have time to have fun anymore?
Do we even remember what fun really is?

What Would You Do? (Quest 6)

What would you do if a decision you make is bound for heartaches in the future?

Do you still opt for that decision though knowingly predicted the future of it?
Do you opt for that decision in faith that whatever happens next is probably something you can control or change?
Do you opt for that decision with the effort to prevent the prediction from befalling?
Do you opt for that decision simply because you wanted to, you loved to?
Do you opt for that decision after a serious long thoughts over it?

OR

Do you avoid making the decision because you fear of what the future holds?
Do you avoid in hopes that situations will be less complicated before you need to make the decision again?
Do you avoid because you wanna save all the hurt to yourself and to the people around you?
Do you avoid because you have had enough of thinking and would just loved to forget about it?

What would you do?

What Would You Do? (Quest 5)

What would you do if your loved or trusted ones hurt you?

A simple lie, a simple word, a simple act, a simple misunderstanding,
a simple inunderstanding, a simple neglection, a simple miscommunication.
However 'simple' all of these may be, you are hurt.

Do you confront the person and express your agony?
Do you hold grudges and await for the time when you can finally take revenge?
Do you act like nothing had happened, and proceed with life as normal?
Do you end whatever contact with the person to never be reminded of the grieves?
Do you forgive and forget, taking into account that it was only a simple thing and because you still love/trust the person?
Do you publicly tell off what the person had done to you [sometimes with the risk of maybe hurting yourself even further]?
Do you inflict guilt upon yourself, believing it was all your fault?

What would you do?

What Would You Do? (Quest 4)

What would you do if you find yourself to be THE hypocrite?

You know how people will tell other people how he/she should do this and that and all. The right steps to take. The logical do's and don'ts.

To criticize the way a person acts, in words that the act is wrong and is not of any sane person's act. To despise a person's character, in utterance of disgust.

Now everyone would expect that this smarty-pants would be the role model of the cakap-cakap. But truthfully, how many of us could seriously be the saint?

To find out that you yourself are the one wronging the wrong.
To find out that you yourself are becoming the person you loathe.

Do you accept it and admit that you were wrong about your comments before [and probably now too, if at all your comments were wrong]?
Do you deny what you have done [and are probably still doing] because it is not something to be proud of?
Do you continue being the hypocrite that you are, with full conscience of the truth?
Do you try to change your wrongs in hopes to rectify yourself?

What would you do?

What Would You Do? (Quest 3)

What would you do if you are given another shot, another chance of choice?

A shot that comes along unexpectedly.

A chance to re-do what you have done, but was not considered to be enough.

A choice to accept or reject, based solely on your own contemplations of it.

A decision that would affect you anyhow, either positively or negatively.

Question is, do you give the offer a thought, a serious consideration?

Do you list out all the pros and cons of the offer, putting more effort in emphasizing the good side of it?

Do you believe that this is another sign from God, for whatever matter the offer is directly or indirectly supposedly related to?

Do you accept the offer just for the sake of what it would be of to you in the future?
Or do you accept the offer because you merely think it is beneficial to you, in one way or another, now or later?
Or maybe you accept the offer because you made yourself believe that it is what you really want?
Or maybe even that you accept the offer due to pressure of any kind; peer, family, financial, etc?

Do you reject the offer for the fact that it reaches to you at the wrong time?
Or do you reject the offer because you say you won't be able to handle it, not even wanting to give it another try before concluding?
Or maybe you reject the offer because you are egoistic?
Or maybe even that you reject the offer because you are inconfident?

What would you do?
Note: If you accept the offer because you have nothing better to do or reject because you have a better offer to grab, don't bother to answer. *winks*

What Would You Do? (Quest 2)

What would you do if you get disappointed?

Be it of yourself, your loved ones, your friends or merely just the people around you.
Be it because of some serious matters, some unimportant matters [maybe to others but not to you], some minor issues that you just have to learn to live with or merely just some incidents breezing through your life.

Now, do you keep your disappointment to yourself, or tell it to a really close friend?
Do you keep thinking about the disappointment in heart despite every effort to forget, or bring yourself down to learn to live with the simple fact of disappointments?
Do you ache in the mind and soul over the disappointment, or get over it and forget?
Do you cry with every means to just let it all out, or stay tough and tell yourself it was all nothing?
Do you continue to give sanctuary to your disappointment, or correct the disappointment?

What would you do?

What Would You Do? (Quest 1)

What would you do if you find yourself living a mistake?

Do you continue living the mistake just because you are loving it, because you wanted to, or because you have to?
Do you continue living the mistake despite whatever you feel; guilt, queasiness, uncertainty, etc etc?
Do you continue living the mistake even knowing what it would lead to?
Do you continue living the mistake thinking it is what you SHOULD do?

OR

Do you stop living the mistake because you're unsure what you really feel?
Do you stop living the mistake because you never know what the future really holds, how things are even in the next minute?
Do you stop living the mistake because you convinced yourself it is wrong?
Do you stop living the mistake because you fear of what others think or say?

What would you do?