Was It The Right Or The Wrong One?

Saying goodbye to my Sister, she saw me off at the Starline LRT station at Plaza Rakyat. And so my journey home began, alone.

Upon reaching the station, the very moment I got there, a train came by. I thought I was really lucky. Absentmindedly, I gladly boarded the train without any more thoughts. Only after a few stations later, that was when I realize I could have boarded the wrong train. This train could be the one not taking me to my destination but just right the opposite way. I did some stupid things and I was too mum to ask anyone.

I jumped right out of the train when it reaches the Chan Sow Lin station, the station where you are supposed to switch trains of different lines [The Ampang Line or the Sri Petaling Line]. Initially I was supposed to check if the train that I'm boarding is the right one when I get down at the station. If it is the right one, I'll quickly get back on board and if it isn't, I shall wait for the right one to come.
That was the plan.

However, seeing the train running on the wrong track [at least that was what I thought], I just quickly and calmly got down and stood facing the opposite track, waiting. I never bothered to check the LCD plane.

I just stood there waiting, and see trains after trains just going by but not on the direction I was waiting to see. Yet, I still never bothered to check the LCD plane.
I just told myself that probably at almost 5pm, it is the peak hour when everyone is getting off from work. So that's why the Ampang Line trains are passing by more frequently right now, the same thing would happen to the Sri Petaling ones later on. Just wait.
So, I stood there just waiting, with my mind so absent thinking about some things I should not be thinking.

A girl came by suddenly and asked me where is she supposed to expect the Sri Petaling Line train coming. I gladly told her to wait at the wrong track with me.
It was only a few seconds later then that it struck me that I forgot to check, and I looked at the plane.

It took me after missing four trains to finally realize that I had all along been waiting at the wrong track. FOUR trains, for hell's sake. And because of me missing that four trains, I missed the ERL train and had to wait for the next one to come after 20 minutes.

Brings me back to the question, was the very first train I boarded the right or the wrong one?
Now, I'll never know. All I know is that I've wasted 20 minutes of my life. All of it happened just because I rushed into boarding the very first train that come along, without any considerations in mind. Then I made another mistake accepting what I think to be true, without any effort to prove it.
How wrong more can I go?

Is this how it's supposed to be? Is that why I'm in such a situation that I am right now?

Broken.

It's all broken with just one last line.

"It doesn't really matter."

I know I should be sticking to my very own step I took, that I should not be contradicting it. But I was hoping you'd stay, no matter what, comforting me and reassuring me and giving me back what I've lost.
But this is how you're treating me, with those last words. Words that sting me straight in the heart. Words that tell me there's no turning back, no more hope.

I just wanna know, do u really mean it? Straight from the heart?
From the bottom of your heart?

I still could not tell if it's the right decision made, although I do know it has to be done. I tried so hard to act maturely in making the decision.
It's really what's best for us. I know it is. Please tell me it is.

So why can't I be so-called matured right now? Why does it have to hurt so bad? Why do I regret?
I want to trust it so dearly that it's not over, that there are still hope.
But why can't I see them? Why is it so dark ahead?

Where had my guardian angel gone to?