When You're Up Alone...

...in the middle of the night. What do you really think of?

I can't contain it in anymore and started feeling all emotic all over again. I thought what I needed was to stop myself from pretending to be how I am the past few days, but I'm not as teary as before already. I guess it's a good thing, but it still hurts like hell. Yes, I felt pretty much relieved to have let it go for a few days though I couldn't lie that nothing bothered me throughout. Sometimes I wish you don't matter to me.

My mind's messed up and I couldn't focus. I couldn't make any rational decisions nor do I wanna make them. Yes, I'm as lost as a child right at the moment. Yet, you're not helping. Instead you gladly leave me alone in the dark. Maybe your mind's made up. Could you kindly enlighten me?