'You Can Let Go'

I could see it in your eyes
Broken windows, fallen skies
Baby, baby what you hiding from
Light that followed you around
Lately no where to be found
Don't you know that I'm your place to run

You been holding on so long
Trying to make believe that nothing's wrong
Not letting it show
There ain't nothing you can do
To make me turn away from you
I need you to know
That you can let go

Shifted through shattered dreams
Living in the in between
Baby, baby it's gonna be alright
(You can let go)
When you're lost, let down, disappoint
And jerked around in this cold, cold world
I will always be by your side

You been holding on so long
Trying to make believe that nothing's wrong
Not letting it show
There ain't nothing you can do
To make me turn away from you
I need you to know
That you can let go

Don't be afraid when you're falling apart
Don't hesitate, I'll be right where you are
Open your eyes, there's a crack in the dark

You never let me see you cry
You locked it somewhere deep inside
Baby, baby let me hold you tight
Make it alright

Baby, baby gonna be alright
Cause I'm by your side
When the whole world turns against you
(Not letting it show)
(I won't turn against you)
Baby, baby gonna be alright
Cause I'm by your side
When the whole world turns against you
(I won't turn against you)
You can let go

You been holding on so long
Trying to make believe that nothing's wrong
Not letting it show
(You can let go)
There ain't nothing you can do
To make me turn away from you
I need you to know

Love, love, love this song!
Thanks for bringing up my mood EVERYTIME! =D

The End of My 'Misery'.

Hooray! And I survived it!
The dumb tests are seriously taking its toll on me. The stress, the insufficient time to take-my-own-sweet-time to focus, etc.
I seriously thought I would have given up alot of times along the way. I have even considered taking supplementaries.
Thanks, Wei Jie, for all the 'short-notes' that have basically just saved my life.

Control Theory on Tuesday and Data Communications & Networking on Wednesday. Wow. *sobs*
I practically camped inside the library the whole two days, except the one hour here and there to get some stuffs done.

The Control Theory test paper was moderately hard. And I guess I wasn't as stressed for this paper, probably because I copied the tutorials the weekend before. [Copying rawks! Hehe.]
I just crapped my whole way through the test, not even knowing if what I wrote is right or wrong. But then again, isn't that what I always do? =p
Sorry to say, I was pretty glad and relieved when I came out of the exam hall finding that many people don't know how to do the same questions. ^^
I'm bad, I know. *bluek*

The Data Comm paper was the killer one for me. Why? Because I still have not gone through the chapters and I am so so tired.
I fell asleep real early the night before and I automatically woke up at 6am. I was very awake at first and was studying on the living room sofa. After 30 minutes (I think), I kept falling asleep again. Oh God!! I could not open my eyes!!
This is how my eyes were. >>> =.=
Solution? Go jogging!! Hehe. Yeah, it helped. Alot indeed. =D

Funny story to tell about this test was the way Dr Ahmed walked damn fast towards me!
Almost 10 minutes to the end of the test, I had closed my answer sheet, placing it nicely on the table [in a way like it was ready to be passed up] and leaned on my chair quite comfortably.
What was I doing? I was actually really, really sleepy and AM squeezing my poor brainy for the 'functions of the TCP/IP layers'.
Dr Ahmed came and started to flipped my answer-sheets and asked whether the paper was very difficult and if I have finished it.
My answer? "Erm, yeah, I dunno, I think."
Haha. I was in shock ok!

I was so scared when he was flipping my answer-sheet. Part of me was really afraid that he would just take my answer-sheet away.
Though I will not be adding/modifying anything anymore [as I don't know what other nonsense I can crap further] but don't take my paper away yet!! =(
Anyway, he didn't take it away, instead he asked me to change my answers. The 'answer' I have given [a.k.a. nonsense] apparently was "almost correct but not what is asked for".
Huh?! Precisely! Haha.

Well, I'm just glad that it's over. Glad that I survived it. Glad that it's not as bad as I thought it would be.
GLAD, GLAD, GLAD.
If it hadn't been for the two tests-marathon, I would have been enjoying fooling around in the event now.
But there I am, getting all freaked out and having my focus so divided all the time.
Well, whatever and however it is, I'm still glad I got over it, and I shall enjoy my final moments of the event! And I DID enjoy the first day~ ^^

Next up~
My one whole blog entry for C.A.R.E. Fair 2008. *winks*

Shocking Results.

Whoa! Who would have expected?!

Had been on catching up with the news of the polling results since 8pm. And the results are well unexpectedly shocking, I'd say.
Who would have thought Tan Sri Dr Koh Tsu Koon would lose his seat?! [Er, maybe some of you do, but not me. =p ]
I don't know exactly what to feel. I'm pretty enthusiasted about the result and all. But seriously, I have never expected something like this.
Not only is Penang lost to the opposition, many other states are also facing critical result moments now.

I'm seriously wondering who our new Chief Minister would be anyway. What would the 'new' Penang be? Should I be happy or worried?
Many seem to be excited about it. Part of me does too. Hehe.
But whatever it is, let's just pray for the best for the nation and us, Penangites. *winks*


Message of the day:
Happy 21st Birthday, Yamunah!!!
So sorry I could not attend your party. Really wished to be there, but the timing just ain't the best for me. *sobs* Missed the warmth of your family though.
Well, I guess I'd see you in Penang. Will definitely celebrate again with you, just as promised!
Have a great birthday and may God bless you, sweet child~

Voting Day.

*ahem* After 5 years, it's that day again. Vote for the future of your nation. Make the right choice.

Right...Easy said, eh? How would anyone know if they are voting for the right fella when:

• 95% of the people I know whom are voting do not know the representatives in the area that they are voting for
• 90% of the people I know whom are voting do not exactly care about who and who they are voting for, as long as they crossed the right party logo
• 30% of the people I know who should be voting have yet to register themselves
• 99% of the people I know just wanna get over it, fast!

Disclaimer: The figures may not be exact, but hey! You can't deny that it's true. =p

I am 21, and I don't get to vote.
Reason? I could not register myself because I just turned 21 for like, 2 months.
I'm not even sure myself if I'm exactly excited about deciding the next Malaysian government. Sometimes, I even wonder if my ONE vote matters at all.
But my parents had always assured me that it is a 'yes', because if everyone were to have thought the same way I do, then the nation would be screwed. Pardon my language. =p

Well, anyway, today is gonna be over soon enough anyway.
You've casted your vote, you wait for the result. Nobody cared, so stop complaining!


p/s: Oooo, Happy International Women's Day! Hail the women out there! Hail me! *bluek*

Race Against Time.

I actually don't really have the time for this entry.
But I think I really need it, really need to rant alil. Though I still think I have ranted alot lately that I am quite sick with myself indeed.
Thanks for all the ears. ;)

My week has gone by so fast, Monday still felt like yesterday.

Monday
Monday itself almost killed me.
Lab session for Microelectronics truly scared the hell outta me today. At first, I had seriously prepared to just get into the lab without doing my hand-analysis exercise and *explode*. Karen said that we shall 'drown' together-gether.
But then, quite last minute, Karen came to me during lunch and told me she's got 'source'. There we were then, gobbled down our whole plate of rice and started to copy the whole answer-sheet. We had like 20 minutes to copy the whole damn thing, or less.
I had no time to think or understand the answers at all! That's when I thought to myself that I am gonna be so dead if the lecturer asks anything.

Big mouth! The answers we copied were sorta insufficient! Better yet, we don't even know what went wrong. Miraculously, we still got 4 out of 5 marks for that session. *phew*
Thanks to pretending-to-know-something-and-admitting-to-the-wrong-answers.
Abit lucky arh today. Abit ny larh. Lucky thing the lecturer was nice.

Thanks to everybody who helped me so much in lab today! You know who you are. *winks*


Tuesday
So Tuesday came. And it's time to finally finalize all promotional items and get them printed etc.
Thanks Juin Hau for sending me all the way to Bangi just for this, and sending me there again the next day for pickup.
But I still want to squish you till you *pop*. So stop pissing me! *bluek*

I had not been feeling well the whole day actually. My stomach had been struck by 'tornadoes'. I think I have wind inside my poor tummy and whole day I can feel it churning inside me. =( I wish my Mommy is here. =p


Wednesday
Just another hectic day in the week. I've been to the STAD for so many times already, and yet everytime Mr. Omar is just too busy. I couldn't be sitting around and waste my time. At last, I gave up and seriously sat there and waited for my turn.
I was so pissed waiting for almost an hour, my precious class hour. And some idiots just had to jump queue. *chis* Even greater, things does not really go the way I wanted or hoped to be.
Straight after that, I rushed my way to Bangi again. I got scared the shyt outta me again when I find that I have misplaced my receipt. *sob*
Thank God I finally found it, inside my dumb bag. *sob*

At night, I had planned to skip dinner as my stomach was not feeling well again. [Just the minor wind problem.] Also to catch some rest a.k.a. sleep.
But my roomie had to tempt me with sushi. *sobs* You hit me right at the spot. *sobs*
Right after dinner, we went to the Sci-Fi night. Through the night, I keep imagining next week. I was really scared, freaked out. =(


Thursday
Shyt! I didn't quite realize it was already Thursday and was 'happily' thinking it was only Wednesday.
I think I'm in serious need for serious sleep! It's been days since I last had a good night sleep. I was practically one walking zombie by the end of the day. I still have a lot of things to do. How now?!

But I could not hold it no more, so I slipped off to catch some sleep. Thank God my friends called me up at 10, else I wouldn't have had woken up.
Blurry and quite blindly, I changed and followed the rest to McDonald's.
Thanks alot for ALL the fries. Though I may have loved fries when I'm in this condition, I still think I was overdosed!

=) One more time, don't worry about me k. I am fine. I will be. I have to be. *winks*


Friday
Great! It is today! *sigh*
Apparently, I was a little stressed up again in the afternoon and there they go 'feeding' me with loads of food till I'm so bloated and wanting to explode. O.o
Problem was, I was so tired just now that I actually fell asleep till quite late. When I woke up, things are not pretty at all. At all! *argh* Stomach pain. *sobs*

Don't I just love Friday? It's only 4 days away from my tests and I have yet to seriously touched my notes. Ain't I doomed or what?

I can feel myself breaking down already, but I am not letting it happen. I can't.
How much longer can I hold myself up? That's the question I wonder quite constantly now. Any answer?

Hope. Hopeful. Hopefully.

I have been hopeful for almost my entire life. I hope for this, I hope for that. It's almost as if it is never-ending.
Sometimes, I think I'm asking so much that the God is pretty much tired with me already. Probably He's looking down and say,

"Oh, hie. It's you again. How may I help you again?"

[Alright, it was a lame thing for me to say. So, let's not get too literal on that ok? =p ]

Today, I have been especially hopeful, as I will be for the next two weeks to come. Then, quite suddenly this question pops in my mind,

"How far can hope really bring me?"

And so, I started thinking. I don't even know why I got on to that topic.
I'm not troubled, I'm not even discouraged for that matter [yet?]. I'm just disoriented for a second there, I guess.
Whatever the reason was, I am not desperate to know. It is just something random that somehow got its way to my mind.

Then looking back on my life, it's amazing how far this hope-thing has got me. At the very least, I am where I am right now. It probably ain't the best, but this is what made me who I am.
Sometimes situations may not go my wanted ways, but I've been lucky to have the people around me. I'm proud of myself and of them, for helping me pull through almost everytime. Yes, almost. Hehe.
Hopefully, we'll pull through once again in success this time. ^^

I'm believing in hope. I'll always remain hopeful. And hopefully, life will continue to blossom the way it should be. *cheers*

Days Without Streamyx.

This is the consequence of not paying bills on time, or regularly.
It's been months since we last paid the bills. And no one actually realized it until our connection was cut.
Thank God it wasn't the electricity which got cut first. Or else, I wonder how-on-earth we're gonna survive it here. Same goes to the water supply.

We finally opened the post box again the other day, a day after our connection was cut. Haha. Imagine the number of letters we receive.
We've got red-warning-letters from both the internet service provider, TM, and also the electric company, TNB.

Apparently, if we still do not pay our bills by the 4th of March, they will also terminate the electricity supply to our home.
Haha. Good God. Thankfully we noticed it in time.

Opening the post box, I also finally got the letter See Mei sent to me long long long ago through snail mail.
*phew* I finally got my hands on it! Haha. But we no longer need it as we've already printed the t-shirt even. =p
Thanks anyway, See Mei. I still love the design. *winks*

Right now, I'm living off as a WiFi-parasite. Thank God there's this fella in Cyberia block C something who does not set password to his/her wireless connection. I hope I am not causing any connection problem to him/her by being a WiFi-thief. =(
I have even stopped all my downloads. *innocent eyes*

Don't worry, I will be getting back my connection real soon. We've settled all our bills today. So, I won't be sharing your connection anymore. =D Sorry ya!
Hopefully real soon enough, we will have back our own STABLE internet connection!! *argh*

Backstreet Boys Unbreakable Tour 2008

Oh my God, we're back again!!

Awesome!! F-r-i-g-g-i-n-g AWESOME!!! ^^
It is so awesome that I wished it never ends.
But of course, that would mean killing them with exhaustion.
And I don't want that to happen. =p

After 10 years, I finally get to see them live!!
My greatest idols since I was of age 11.
[Sorry to say I wasn't quite the one who have been there from the start.]
I never really knew them at first. Catherine was kinda the one to have 'enlightened' me on all things about the BSB. That was how clueless I was about the entertainment industry.
Anyhow, since then, BSB is number 1, on top of my everlasting list already.
The only group whose songs are 100% listened to, by me. And liked 95% of it all.

That was the perfect reason why I never really considered anything and just said,

"YES, I WANNA GO TO THE BSB CONCERT, AT ALL COST!!"

Hehe, I know. Pretty scary, even to myself. =p
But, I have no regrets saying that.

We reached Sunway Surf Beach, Sunway Lagoon Theme Park [the venue] at around 4pm.
Got our ticket, got our posters, went to the toilet and stood in line.
Behaved well, saw some other fellas holding many-many posters, proceed to ask for more.
And we got extras to be given out to friends. [Yes, I had one for you, Cath.]
All was well, everyone was happy.

That's when it started.
The lightning, the thunder. And *whooooooosh* here comes the rain! *argh*
It rained so heavily, everyone in the queue got wet!
I was literally drenched from head-to-toe. No kidding. Well, all of us were.
Needless to say, I'm sure you know what happened to all our stuff.
And so, the posters are gone. We could have saved some, but..... *sigh*
What could we say.

Right, then the even more pissifying moment arrived.
At 7pm, we were supposed to have had entered to the Surf Beach. But somehow, it was delayed, expectedly. =p
Even more pissifying was the fact that they let the people from the BACK of the line to enter FIRST.
Now, do you understand how we felt?! *chis*
And people started to get really annoyed and there goes the scoldings, the cursing etc.

Hehe, actually thing was I was kinda ignorant. I didn't quite care.
Like some people said, I am high on drugs. The drugs called BSB. *blek*
So, when they started shouting, it just kinda hurt my ears. =p
[My ears were only meant for BSB that night. Haha!!]

Well, as the concert starts, we tried to take alot alot of photos.
But sadly, my camera are kinda 'outdated' already. The ability to zoom and the battery are both so useless! *argh*
But seriously, it was only after the battery died that I started to really enjoy the party! *winks*

Oh my God! They are so amazing, it is still so breathtaking just to think about it. Hehe.
I don't know how to describe anything at all. Only one word really appears in my head everytime I try to describe the concert.
And the word is none other than, AWESOME! Haha.

The place where I stood was kinda strategic, I'd say. It's in the middle-middle.
As in I was pretty much right at the center of the surf beach. Right in the middle of sea of people.
The only downside of the place where we were was the fact that there are many Eurasians who are taller than me pushing their way through to the front. And I mean, talllllll. =(
My perfect view! *sobs*
Then there were also couples all around me. And there was once I stood behind this one couple who seriously have some kinda phobia of losing each other in the crowd.
They just had to squeeze on each other so tight, touch here touch there.
Kacau lar!! I wouldn't mind it if you'd STOP touching me! =.=

Right, enough of the not-so-happy stuffs. Now, the happy moments! Haha.
Well, the four of them actually came out, boxing style. They were caped in boxing suits.
Nick in blue, Brian in yellow, A.J. in black, Howie in green.
The opening song is 'Larger Than Life', with a lil remix of 'Stronger' by Kanye West. [I kinda expected it to be 'Everybody'.]

Best part of all was they continued performing for the whole concert. And we continued shouting, cheering and singing with them for the whole time through as well. ^^
Can you imagine singing all the romantic songs together with BSB?!
Oh, the joy. =p

At one part during the concert, Brian teased us by taking off his shoe and pretended to throw it to the audience. God, we were seriously READY to catch the flying-shoe. *ahakz*
Brian is really cute. Adorable too. When he was to sing his own single, everyone was so excited that we cheered for him nonstop. He then made the nail-biting gestures and all.
Oh my God, his smile is so frigging adorable I could faint! Hahahaha.
[He still reminds me of werewolves though. =p]

Then there was Nick. He actually kinda look much better now compared to a couple of years back. *winks* [Or was it just me? Seeing him live, separated by quite some distance.]
Whatever it is, he is still 'cute'. He totally melts my heart back then, and he still does a LIL right now. =D
When he was performing his own single, he actually poured water on his head and shook off the water from his head towards the audience in the VIP place.
Sounds disgusting? Well, imagine the pleasure the people enjoyed. Not me, of course! Thank God I couldn't afford the VIP passes. *bluek*
And who could forget him putting his face so near to the camera on-stage and make faces. It is kinda what he loves to do after all. o.O

A.J.'s single from his solo album is really awesome. It definitely suits his style, and it really did rawk the party up!
He had been what-we-call the coolest in the gang, and he is so still living up to it. And I don't think the beret left his head anytime at all. Soon Ming said he's balding. *laughs*

Howie D. was the first to sing his single. Apparently, his and A.J.'s solo albums will be released soon! ;)
The crowd did not exactly go crazy when he came out to perform his single. Probably because he isn't quite the more popular one among the rest.
But heck, I still love them all! I was crazy all the way, so I did cheer for him. Loud! :P

Before I forget, lemme recap on the songs they performed throughout the whole concerto [not in order] ~

Larger Than Life
I Want It That Way
The One
Show Me The Meaning of Being Lonely
All I Have To Give
As Long As You Love Me
Everyone
I'll Never Break Your Heart
Quit Playing Games With My Heart
The Call
Everybody
Incomplete
More Than That
Shape Of My Heart
Inconsolable
Helpless When She Smiles
Any Other Way
You Can Let Go
Unmistakable
Trouble Is
Everything But Mine
Treat Me Right

Inclusive of each of the member's individual singles, each.
Howie
A.J.
Nick - I Got You
Brian - Welcome Home

Oh, I think I'm missing some songs out. And I'm still trying to find out the names of the songs sung by Howie and A.J.. Hmm. It shall soon be updated.

Can you imagine that?! They performed so so many songs!! God, I am so happy! Haha. I did not quite expect them to sing this list of songs really. I mean, it is pretty alot, don't you think?
Kinda worthy eh paying the RM88? Hahaha.

It's worthy alright even if they sing only 4 songs. I finally get to party with BSB!! Can this get any better?!
Yes, it can. If only I won the hitz.fm backstage passes. *sobs*
Now I'm reminded of the A1 concert I missed years back. *double sobs*

Well, nothing stopped me this time for BSB!!

Hail the Backstreet Boys!!

Haha, I feel so teenager-girlish right now writing this blog entry. *shivers*

Here are more photos, for your eyes only. *winks*

Can't wait for my next BSB concert!!


p/s: Thanks Soon Keat for asking the Sunway Security for the one and only poster for me. *grins*

Orphanage Home Visit.

How time flies. It's been almost 3 months since our last visit here. The Shepherd's Center Foundation.

The first time we were there, it was the first ever visit CARE Club has organized for our term. Of course, due to some setbacks, we were also having another visit to the SPCA on that very same day and time.
Hence, we were separated into 2 groups actually. And I chose to go to the orphanage.

This time around, I didn't have to make the choice. =p I just had to be at one place.
But upon reaching, I was made to make another choice though. To help clean the place up or to play with the children.
Haha. Funny choice given. I really don't mind either anyway.
And so, this group of people volunteered to clean.

It's nothing really. We just helped clean all the fans, clean abit here and there.
Are we missing the fun they're having in the field? Probably?
Heard they played football at the field.

[Warming up before the game.]

Two of the kids actually stayed back, as they were not allowed to play there. They were sick, not just the normal kind of cough or flu we have.
One of them, they called Ah Seng, was mentioned to me that he went into coma for TWO weeks a couple of months ago. Pastor Jacop also mentioned that the fees for Ah Seng's illness cost around RM3, 000 per month. *sigh*
This kid is diagnosed with more than 3 illnesses and the medical fee is so high. This is only one kid.
Can you imagine the hardship they have to go through to save all these children? To provide a proper place to call home?

Even sadder to say, I don't know what kinda help could I actually offer.
Probably what CARE Club could really do is to organize more home visits, in order to tell them they're not alone? =) Yes, that's one that we can really do.
At least we get to see them smile.

But every visits, surely there's something insufficient.
The last visit, we did not have enough plasticine while this visit, we did not bring enough balloons! *argh*
Due to this, we see some children cried, some showed temper.
But being children, very quickly the problem is resolved. Haha.
Guess we need to keep in mind to buy extra of everything on our next visit.

[Heard this fella cried alot. =p ]

[The end of our visit. Right before they go back to bathe and lunch.]

Wonder if we can have another visit to this orphanage again, before the next term. Wonder if our club's budget allows. *sigh*
Hopefully, it's all I can say. =)

Birthday Marathon.

Wow. Is it a good month for birthdays?

Lemme recap and place my wishes for all the birthday-boys and -girls.

On the 20th, we have Wei Loon celebrating his 20th birthday.

On the 21st, we have Soon Ming and Jou Chean celebrating their 21st birthday.

And on the 22nd, we have Wei Jie celebrating his 22nd birthday.

Hehe. This is just to lamely point out that their birthdates are kinda indicating their ages respectively this year.
I believed I mentioned this in my last post. But in this post, another is added in to join the 'lame' group. =p

Right. Then continuing on, we have Jon Yap to wish 'Happy Birthday' to as well on the 22nd. On the day which he is celebrating his 23rd birthday!

And in advance, Happy Birthday to Shou Pin celebrating his birthday on the 25th.