Too Tired To Sleep.

...erm, not quite~~~

I totally slept like a pig since afternoon. A whole 4 hours of sleep. And yes, it felt like ages since I last did that. I haven't even been sleeping so well in my night sleep [applied to only the past week.]. I even skipped my lunch for this long-awaited sleep! Haha~

One could really sleep better when you're feeling just, not care-free like totally, but at least when you're not that tensed up. During the past week, I really had so much in my mind and suddenly it felt like the whole world's coming onto me all at once. That everything's that had been on the in-tray are all due to be submitted onto the out-tray, like ASAP. All in a week. So much work, so little time!!

Well, what I did was take things one at a time. And boy, was it hard! It felt so much easier when I told others this. No matter how much I told myself to go step by step, the image of the path ahead just kept pushing it's way into my mind. Especially when I am about to sleep, or worse, when I'm in sleep!!
All the troubles needing solutions. All the datelines I have to meet. I just hate to be awake anyhow.

For now. Somehow I felt like a few tonnes of load off my shoulder for a little while. At least I'm able to rest a LITTLE while before the next sleepless week to come. Wish me luck~

Righty~ Off to stuffing myself with food now. And it's my favourite too.
....SUSHI~!!! Ah, Sushi King will do just fine this time. And it's on promotion~! Double the fun. ^^ Ciaoz~!

Do You Remember? (Thought 6)

Do you remember the time when someone dear leaves?
Do you remember the pain you felt knowing he/she ain't coming back?
Do you remember praying it was all just a bad dream, and you'll eventually wake up?
Do you remember missing him/her in things you used to do together?

It's nearing 7 years since my grandmother passed away. I only knew 2 of my grandparents since birth, maternal grandmother and paternal grandfather. To me, my Por Por is the one we're closer to and sayang the most. She's the one we could only meet when we balik kampung to Kepong Ulu. Those were the holidays I always look forward to. And at every end of the holidays, I'll weep my way back to Penang. And continue sobbing for the next couple of days.

I used to write to her quite frequently when I was in primary, but it gradually stopped. It didn't mean I loved her any lesser anyway.
I used to be in KL for almost every long school holidays, but that gradually got lesser too. I don't see her often but it also certainly never meant I missed her any lesser.

Is it true that pain dies with time? Is it true that we will eventually forget someone after parting? Why do life seemed so fragile, and death has to be part of it?
Are you really watching us from where you are above there? Do you miss us? Would you come back if I wish hard enough? At least to say our final goodbye?

Por Por, I miss you every now and then. I'll never forget the day when we got the news. I still regret the fact that we never had a chance for our last goodbye. I have so much to ask you, to tell you.
Now all that is left is really the sweet memories of you. I love you.

Do You Remember? (Thought 5)

Do you remember the time when you have the worst nightmare?
Do you remember trying your hardest to wake up, but it was all just in vain?
Do you remember having the tingling knowing that it's all ridiculous to be happening, yet still drawn to believe it?
Do you remember the fear you had inside the dream, and even outside after waking up?

I've been having alot of dreams lately. In one night, I could have 3 different weird dreams. That probably explains why I'm always so tired even after hours and hours of sleep. [That's not an excuse. :P]
Anyway, I had another weird dream yesternight. No, wait. Lemme rephrase that.
I had a weird nightmare yesternight.

Morpheus played this tremendously huge prank on me. And it wasn't the first time. However, at least this time all's well in the dream alas. Though, it is still very very unpleasant.
I remember the first felt so real, it didn't seemed like a dream. It made me so scared even after waking up. I was just a little kid back then fearing for the worst with no one to tell it to. And all I wanted was to make sure everybody is safe and sound. I still do.

When you sleep, you try to escape from the real world. From all the stress, the workloads, the misery, just almost of anything that you wanna runaway from but couldn't in the real life. And that's when you dream. Of course it'd be always wonderful if you dream of beautiful things. But what is life when everything's just perfectly pretty? :)
When you dream, you enter into a mysterious world where rules of reality just don't apply. No matter how hard you try to make sense out of it, it just don't. But somehow you believe it anyhow in your dream, simply because you're in it.

Do dreams mean anything implicitly? If yes, what could they mean? What could be the message tried to be conveyed? Or are dreams just a method of liberating you from the real world for awhile? Then, what about nightmares? What's their purpose? Just to scare you abit more than you can take?

Do You Remember? (Thought 4)

Do you remember the time when your supposed best buddy turns his/her back at you?
Do you remember the time when your best buddy betrays you?
Do you remember the time when you got just so disappointed but am too frustrated to talk about it anymore?
Do you remember losing your best buddy?

I remember vividly, and I really thought it'll never happen again. At least not with this one buddy. The best-buddy. However, I was proven wrong.
It shows how weak a friendship could mean. Maybe you would say, perhaps it wasn't friendship in the first place. Because true friends will never do that to you right? But I really believed in it to be true. At least it was true until now. I hope.

I'm disappointed and I cannot deny that. I'm frustrated and I'll never hide that. I'm angry but it will subside. I'll remember every single moment of this. I'll be more careful from now on.

What could have gone wrong? Do our bond really meant to be that weak and fragile to you? Was I supposed to have seen it coming? Was I supposed to have back-off before it happens?

Still, I thank every true buddies who stuck by me through thick and thin. You know who you are. It wasn't about how big the gesture, it's about how big your heart is. It's purely about how much love you guys showered on me unconditionally. :)

Do You Remember? (Thought 3)

Do you remember when someone breaks his/her promise to you?
Do you remember anticipating for it only to have it broken?
Do you remember feeling the frustration when that person couldn't even remember what he/she had promised and hence broken?
Do you remember feeling the urge to believe the next promise, yet have the lingering fear?

I remember the empty promises I had been given since young. My parents especially used to do that to me, just for the sake of shutting me up. It didn't really matter much back then. Even if those special trips to amusement parks were never realized or crazily expensive presents were never bought, it didn't matter. It's not because I've forgotten about them. It just didn't matter. Guess I knew it's ridiculous somehow.

As I grew older, I thought promises would be made based on trust. And so I trusted. And anticipated.
The frustration you feel when you finally realize it was forgotten by the other party could just tear you into half. Yes, probably it's a little exaggerated but if you would consider the degree of importance of the promise, you'd think differently.

Did I trust wrongly? Or did I just anticipated for the impossible? Was the promise made just to shut me up? Was it just not important to you as it is to me?

Do You Remember? (Thought 2)

Do you remember when some days, or maybe dates, were important to you?
Do you remember anticipating for it, hoping that something special would happen on that day?
Do you remember having disappointments when the day finally arrives?
Do you remember when you finally gave up cherishing any special dates?

I was one who anticipates for some special dates and days, on which we could celebrate and remember of together. It doesn't have to be anything fancy, as long as it's memorable. That when you reminisce back in time, you'd never forget how sweet or special that one time is. You'd always want to remember that one time, especially the firsts.
Memories that'll make you smile just thinking of it. Memories that'll make you hold on to this world no matter how harsh it gets. All those sweet memories.

I'm not sure if I've given up cherishing special dates. I don't think I could ever have anyway. But I do stop myself from anticipating anything special. At least I guess I've learnt my lesson not to expect too much. Perhaps so. Perhaps I finally understand one thing I've always wondered about since young.

Are special days just celebrated for the sake of celebrating it? Could these special days go by anyhow without any celebrations? It wouldn't kill anyway, right? So, why does it hurt sometimes? Why is it still loitering around my head agitating me? Will it ever go away?

Do You Remember? (Thought 1)

Do you remember the day when it's April Fool's Day at least ten years back?
Do you remember the excitement knowing it's the day when playing a prank on others had been seemingly legal?
Do you remember how foolish you felt when you were victimized?
Do you remember laughing and be laughed at?

Ah, I most certainly remember all those moments. Simple days with simple minds. When kids were having fun, just fooling around. When we used to have so much laughs, even at the simplest prank. Oh, the care-free days.

This year, I've not played any prank nor was I prank-ed. It probably ain't the first year this had happened. As a matter of fact, I don't remember anything about it the last year, or the year before, or even the year before.

Sometimes I wondered where did all those times go. Did we grow out of it? Or did we just simply throw it away? Was all the kids' fun too much to handle by the adults? Or was it that we just don't have time to have fun anymore?
Do we even remember what fun really is?

Romantic 'Be With You'.

Ima, Ai ni Yukimasu. Now this is what I call best romance movie, like, ever!
[Note: Yes, it is better than 'The Notebook'. 'P.S. I Love You' is not included yet though.]


Here's a simple plot I picked up from some sources for your reading pleasure. I did kinda edited it a little.

Mio's death left her husband Aio Takumi and 6-years-old son Aio Yuji fending for themselves. Taku occasionally suffers fainting spells, especially in the crowded places. Taku feared and has the regrets that his health may have hindered Mio's happiness. Yuji, on the other hand, overheard his relatives speculating that his delivery had compromised Mio's health since then. He blamed himself for his mother's death. Taku tells Yuji that Mio had left for the 'Akaibo Star' and will return when the rainy season starts, and he himself believed the story to be true. Apparently, Mio had promised them this. So, life during that one year was more or less based on the hope that they will see Mio again. When the rain started to pour, Yuji brought his father to the special old shack, where Mio and him used to play in. He was to find the time capsule they both hid, without the knowledge of Taku. Instead of finding the time capsule, they found a woman bearing an uncanny resemblance of Mio. Sadly, she has no recollection of who she is or why she is out there in the woods alone and lost. Family resumes from where they were left off, and they cherished every moment they had together in that six weeks. Taku recounts a tale of years of missed chances since high school until she encouraged their marriage years later. The time together was short-lived when the sun shines again, as it was time for Mio to go away once more. But that wasn't after Yuji found the time capsule and what's in it. A diary.

Not only were the plot beautifully written, the castings were made so perfectly that every dialogue and emotion were portrayed oh-so-beautifully. Could I ever find a better word to describe that?!!
At first I really thought the father, Taku, looked retarded and was supposed to be one. =p That's where the son's role comes in, to take care of the father upon his mother's death.
Boy, is he a real cute fella!! Seriously, watching him in the movie, one would just want to reach out for him.

There are a few parts of the story which I really, really enjoyed watching. There's this one unforgettable scene when Yuji hung up a teru-teru bozu outside his classroom, wishing for rain to come soon. Then there's the scene when the family would stroll in the woods together hand-in-hand. Then there's the part when Taku tells Mio of their love story, his version of it of course. And then comes my most favourite part.

Ahhhh!! The best part of it all is surely, definitely, absolutely, unquestionably the ending part. The part when Taku reads Mio's diary.
What amazed me was not about the miracle. What blew me off was certainly not about the impossibility of anything like that to happen in real life.
But really it's simply about the different versions of a love story. The Taku version and the Mio version. It's about how chances go by so easily if it is not grabbed at that very instance. It's about how beautiful a sacrifice would seem to be in the name of love. Oh, I could be speechless.

And I really should stop here. Or else, I could end up telling you every little part of the story already!
For a better spoiler, you might wanna read this and this.

Alright, I shall find time to watch this drama again, I wouldn't mind watching it for the ten-thousandth time around. Wanna join? :P

Earth Hour!

Switch off all your lights!!!

No, wait. Lemme rephrase on that.

Switch off all your non-essential lights!!!

Yes, that's more like it. *winks*

Rest well, Mother Earth. :)

I voted for Earth, how about you?

Surprise Luncheon.

Ah, what a pleasant pleasant surprise. Just yesterday we were scratching our poor little heads thinking of how to write a good message for his birthday. We wanted to make it special. We want to reminisce on the good ol' times through doing so. We want it to be meaningful. =)

When she said he weren't coming on Friday, I thought it may be a good idea afterall. I'm sorry, but this whole midterm-tests-mania thingy is really getting its toll on me. But then, I also wished he'd come. I missed those times we just talked and laughed. Life was nothing but a breeze.

But hey! He came anyway! On a non-suspicious Saturday morning. It was absolutely a surprise for me. Considering the fact that I was woken up only by her voice saying, "Guess who's here!". Omigosh. I thought she was just joking when she answered her own question. Haha. And naturally, I kinda got back to sleep larh. But that girl had to forget where she left her keys. [Padahal it was right there hanging on her notice board!] Haha.

He gave us a goddamn good excuse for skipping studies a lil while alright, but we know well it's gonna haunt us real soon. But well, who cares at this moment. I'm just glad that we get to do what we did today. Lunch was superb and filling! Loved those small laughs especially. Thank you for coming over.
And yes, God, good times fly by quickly.

Happy Birthday, Shad! In advance for now, that is. *winks*


Oh my, look at how much we've changed over time. And at how little photos we have together. It's a real sad thing we lost most of our photos from Alpha year too.
Certainly hope to hang out with you guys again! Make sure the time come again soon. Cheers!