What Would You Do? (Quest 1)

What would you do if you find yourself living a mistake?

Do you continue living the mistake just because you are loving it, because you wanted to, or because you have to?
Do you continue living the mistake despite whatever you feel; guilt, queasiness, uncertainty, etc etc?
Do you continue living the mistake even knowing what it would lead to?
Do you continue living the mistake thinking it is what you SHOULD do?

OR

Do you stop living the mistake because you're unsure what you really feel?
Do you stop living the mistake because you never know what the future really holds, how things are even in the next minute?
Do you stop living the mistake because you convinced yourself it is wrong?
Do you stop living the mistake because you fear of what others think or say?

What would you do?

Rainy Appreciation Night.

It was supposed to be a BBQ party. Everything was prepared, done, ready. Then, the rain clouds passed by and refused to leave.

*sighs* Party was crashed, and plans had to be changed LAST MINUTE.
Instead of the poolside venue, we all bunked into my house. Big difference. But still thank God the house is presentable. *taking pride!* Hehe.
And instead of BBQ-ing, all food was cooked with other methods. Boiling, steaming, frying, deep frying...you name it [except BBQ-ing larh].
Yet again, thank God for how things turned out in the end anyway. Thank God you guys loved the food cooked, though it was nothing compared to what it would be if BBQ-ed.

I was really worried at first because we decided to change the plan only the hour before the party was supposed to begin, after realizing the rain is not gonna stop for us. Even if the rain stops, the wind would not allow us to startup any fire.
But by hook or by crook, I ain't gonna cancel no party. And boy, was I glad I didn't.

My house was really in the happening-mode yesternight. We had music pumping out loud, humans trying to out-sound the speakers and food! Hehe. It was really cool to see so many people getting together and all. I love parties! *blushes*
[Oh, sorry Shad, no piccies larh. No time plus me no camera. >< ]
But boy, am I tired by the end of the night! I am totally beat. Am so lazy to do anything else too.

Now that everything is cleaned up, it's time to get some rest. Tomorrow will be a long day, since it is the first day of clubs' registration week. Added on to the hours of classes I'm forced to attend, I need all the sleep I can get now. [If only I can sleep as I want though.]
Well, remember to come over to CARE Club's booth and get yourself registered ya. *winks*
Good night~!


p/s:
Not to forget, a BIG thank you especially for all the help and support in ensuring this party went on smoothly. Sure kelam-kabut I'll be if it hadn't been you around. >< Well, you know who you are, if you're reading. ;)

'Age Of Glory'

Oh...my...God!
Believe it or not, I actually just finished watching the whole of a Malaysian drama.
Read my lips. M-a-l-a-y-s-i-a-n drama.
Not missing one episode, nor a scene. The first for me.

It was aired on Ntv7, and I watched a lil back in Penang during the holidays. Captured the drama-freak in me and I was determined to watch the whole of it. And I did, thanks to Ntv7.
I actually watched it from the Ntv7 webpage. [Pretty amazing streaming speed, I'd say.]

Imagine this from me, I have not complained a BIT of the drama, yet.
Miraculously enough, I am even complimenting it and promoting it to my friends.
They asked why do I watch such drama. My answer is pretty simple, because it is a Malaysian production and it is so worthy to be given the credits.
Trust me when I say so. It's hard to hear it from me too, especially about Malaysian dramas. You know how they used to suck in acting and how bad their storylines are.

But..this is a totally different thing from those typical Malaysian drama.
With Debbie Goh as the lead actress, I love the drama even more.
She is so convincing with her role that you might just cry together with her
[at the last episode, if you are a crying-drama-queen]. It was really touching and seemed so real. For the first time ever, they had made the perfect casting.

So, what's the drama about?
Well, it's about the life of a typical Malaysian girl back in the 60's and 70's.
About how she ranaway from home with her lover [I doubt she even knows that she loves him when she ranaway with him] after a dispute with the father, got into trouble when the lover turns to a gambling-addict and eventually turning her life upside-down. Her life was pretty much screwed up but she got back up on her own two feet and hung on with the flow of life. Tough girl, I'd say. I could never imagine doing the things she does.
Reality check, I don't have to. *phew*

The other two girls came into the picture later and became her two bestest friends. By luck, I'd say. You know how this fate thing goes anyway.
Aenie Wong stars as a servant at the beginning and you will see how her life evolves, while Daniella Dai is this singer-wannabe from a fishing village.
Of the three, I'm not especially fond of Daniella's role [or rather acting, or just her scripts?]. I don't know.

'Nuff said. Check it out yourself. ;)
This is a truly Malaysian Boleh drama, uh. *winks*


p/s:
Oh, and the theme song is absolutely awesome! Anyone has the mp3 version of it? =p
Double oh, did you know Debbie was a Miss Chinese International Malaysia back in 1998? Patutlah so pretty. Hehe. Her voice is super-sweet too!
Triple oh, I saw Mei Fen in the drama. *LOL* It felt a lil weird though. Haha.

When A Letter Goes Missing.

When a letter goes missing from a word, it could seriously lead to unwanted, atrocious misunderstandings. And we had a really good lesson today.
Check this one out.

This was on the back of the discount and offer cards given to us when we dine in the restaurant today.
I couldn't stop laughing once I noticed the mistake. Gave me a goddamn shock alright!

What on earth could this holiday be?! Hehe! *ROFL*

Now everybody sees the importance of good spelling? =P

Be careful ya. ;)

A Week Of Dilemma.

There are times in our lives when some things suddenly don't make sober senses to you anymore, when matters seem to be so alien and wrong. Suddenly, every single decision seem so un-correct and "what-ifs" start to haunt.

That time of my life is here again. I thought it would be a short visit, but apparently it had stayed longer than it is welcomed for.
It started with just a simple yes-or-no question, and it led on to a numerous questions in a string of doubts and dilemma.
Even more sadly, I'm starting to break the promise I made to myself from the very beginning, of which clearly minded that I shall not regret my decision no matter what.

This time around, it seemed to hit me harder than just a mild thunderstorm. All I wanted was just one simple answer. Instead of making the choice, I drew myself deeper into skepticism. With one question leading on to another question, matter in hand starts to become more complicated and out of the original topic. I'm struggling within to find a satisfying, if not perfect, answer for myself. At times I couldn't endure anymore, I told myself that this phase of my life would be gone soon before I realize it.
But I was advised that I should not avoid, again. Things must be set straight, not aside.

Point is, it isn't that I do not understand. These things are fully understood by me. I can even chant all the dos and donts in my life out time and again, with perfect rationale. But, how well can I actually put it into action? How well can my heart and brain accept? I know what I should do at the same time not knowing what I must do.
What my heart says is not comprehended by my head, vice versa.

What do you do when you got on the verge of losing faith?
Is determination more important, as I always believed?
Is determination enough to bring back my faith, and secure it once again?

Delta...Set!

Good Lord. There goes my 3 weeks of holidays.
Here comes a new academic year.
Just like that, *snaps a finger* we're in the third year now. Delta year.

To be frank, I'm pretty lazy for classes right now. Considering the fact that I've not attended any for like a month plus. But this is normal.
Had always been, and will always still be. *grins*
Yet, I wonder why is it that even after 3 years in MMU, I'm still so reluctant to come back to campus after every break.
No matter how boring or unfruitful my breaks are, I still hate to end them.
Was it just plain lazy? I doubt so. [ Hah! =p ]

Through the crystal ball, I see myself doing something more productive for myself starting this new trimester, in terms of academia and enhancing my knowledge. *winks*
And with this, I wish that I would hold on to my words. That I would be 'retired' from joining/organizing activities that had my head swirled for the past 2 years. [Hehe, a little exaggeration though.] But I would still always be available for any helping hand needed though, especially for CARE. =)

In promises to achieve what I want to, sacrifices and focus must be made wisely. I've decided for this, and hence shall not let anything at all to come in my way. I've just said "no" to one offer I thought I would regret in later years, so I think I could say "no" to anything now! Hah!
We'll see to it, and I hope I will never fail myself. *winks*

But saying "no" ain't the hard part, focusing and achieving would be THE challenge. Well, since from now on I would have all the time in the world for my own, I am hopeful that things may take the perfect turn once again. I shall have my world in my hands once again. Muahaha.
Good Lord, I'm getting mad even before the challenge starts. =___=


Message of the day:
Happy Birthday, Kai Lun! Welcome to the world of the 20's. Hehe!
You've gotta admit we're good in giving you a surprise, huh? =D

Happy Father's Day!

Another celebration for Daddy!

Sadly though, no "Happy Father's Day" wishes to you till almost midnight. *sobz* So sorry. Felt really bad as I said alot of "Goodbyes" instead in the morning.
Why does it have to be today that I have to leave Penang for Cyberjaya?! *grrr*

The trip had been an especially long one. Every moment of it, I just wished the car is heading North. I know it must have been tiring for you to rush up and down, here and there during the time we shifted temporarily to the new place. I wished I could have help lessen your burden, but no, I just had to be the useless one. *sigh*

Oh, and I know I had been pretty lazy at times during the holidays, but trust me that I have a pretty good reason to it. [Hehe, or rather excuse.] =p Anyway! You'd know I'd get it done, by hook or by crook, usually near the last minute.
One habit I truly have to change. Yes, I know I know. Countless times you and Mommy had said. *blushes*

I've always been told that you love me best. I say it ain't true, you love Bro and Sis just as much. You're just closer to me.
And ain't I proud of it? =D Very glad indeed.
From the moment my brain could remember, I've been very much branded as your favourite child. Even to this very day, you would still bring me to places just like when I was 6 years old.
Sometimes you even made me feel like I'm still six. Haha!

And definitely more than just sometimes, I wish that time would turn back to when I was five or six, when everything around was full of innocence.
When I was the littlest thing at home, when so much things was pretty much not known to me, when your patience was incredible, when you would play with me when nobody else does, you were my bestest friend.
I don't remember how many times you've help covered up for the naughty things I've done [as there are too many] but I certainly remember that there were times you've saved me from Mommy. When I was in the wrong and was too afraid, you would be there and try to save me. But, Mommy was too powerful. She's the mom anyway!

Thank you for those times, Dad. That's pretty much the reason why I preferred to get you to sign my report cards before bedtime [unless when I get good results I was proud of]. Hehe. Then again, we couldn't fool Mommy.
Told ya she's the mom!

As time goes by, I believe I've changed, you've changed. Sadly, with the environment around us differing more and more with time, we've distanced from one another. The friendship we had is seen to be gradually fading. I'm afraid I can't say we were just like before.
But Daddy, trust me when I say..."I still want to be your friend."

Happy Father's Day!!

We love you, Dad! Even when you make us blur, me especially. Hehe.

Newest Addition.

Dated: Tuesday 10th June

Got my new gadget today. Something I had my eyes out searching for THE one for a pretty long time.
Guess that there're few of you who were directly affected too, uh? Haha.
I know I had been pretty lost with it and all. To add salt to wound, I had a really low budget at first. And I didn't want just any one. I believe in value-for-money.

But I didn't quite expected to get this model though. Thanks to Daddy! =D
Thanks for giving me the green light, and the necessary budget. Hehe.

It has every specifications I looked for, with even some additional ones.
Am I happy? How could I say not?!
The only problem that's bothering me is where it was bought. *brr*
Let's just pray nothing happens to it, and it wouldn't need ANY servicing or what-so-ever-of-the-sort. =D *cheers*

Oh, My Laptop.

Dated: Friday 6th June

*sobs* My laptop has just been admitted to its kind of hospital for services.

I'm already missing it. It just feels so different using this other laptop, though it was mine once ago. *brrr*

Well, I still love you, old lappie, I'm saying it just feels different. =p

And to use it, I have to first fight with my Mom.

It's gonna take another 2 weeks before I can get my hands back on it. *sigh* What am I gonna do till then? I'm gonna be computer-less when I'm back to Cyberjaya. And trust me, that's gonna be such a hell for me then.

I won't be able to download my notes, what more to print them out. More importantly, I'm so gonna rot with no entertainment, or what-so-ever-of-the-sort. I'm trying to see the better side of things now. [Of which apparently is really not working.]

Well, Dad had offered that I take this laptop with me until I get back my own. But that would leave Mom and Dad laptop-less at home.

Should I be the selfish one?
I mean, they are pretty used to having the laptop at home now. And the old desktop in the backroom is pretty much neglected now. Poor lil thing.
You wouldn't believe the things my parents do with the computers. Haha.

Oh, here goes another dilemma of the holidays. Think, Elaine, think!
While I ponder about it, Mom shall be returned this laptop to continue her quest. Hehe.

Happy Birthday, Daddy!

Dated: Sunday 1st June

To the man in my life! Cheers!

Thanks for being the dad you've always been. And sorry for the times I put on a looooooong face to your orders. For that sometimes, I really wish you would just trust for the fact that I know what I'm doing myself. Everytime I grunt, you would be quiet... Making me even more guilty for acting so. *grrrr*
But I'm truly thankful that you are just great in reverse-psychology attack. Hehe.

Ever since I was a little girl, you've pampered me well. I used to wait for the days, or nights, that you would be home. You work shifts and that makes me miss you even more. I so seldom see you, I wished you were always there whenever Mommy scolds. Hehe.
Oh, and I so loved the times that you would fetch me from school whenever you were not working. On the old motorbike, buying lunch and whatever on the ride home.
Did you know my friends always said you're one handsome dad?! Haha! And did you know how I floated on cloud nine?

The funniest incidents I am constantly reminded of by Mommy and all were definitely the times that I would cry, watching the news on television. Crying, while very much pleading for the newscaster, of whom I call 'Dad', to come out. Haha~~
Oh God, how dumb of the little me. Apparently the newscaster had moustache just like you, Dad. *brrrr* Creepy, I know.

The times you were home, you would humour me with your little jokes. Jokes that will send me rolling on the bed laughing so hard. Mommy would then scold me for laughing too hard, fearing that I would have nightmare later that night. But those times were the greatest, times I missed so so dearly.
Just a simple action you make the teddy bear do, and the memory sticks to this very day. And it still does put a smile on my face everytime I thought of it too! =D

Daddy..

Happy Birthday~!

Hope you love the present. [Hehe, we know you do. =p]
Thank you for everything, every single little thing you've done and not done. Thanks for being the Daddy you are to me. Love ya!