The Importance Of Letting Go.

Another phase in life, I suppose?
To realize the importance of letting go. And to find peace, as well as joy, in doing so. I've heard of this phrase once, and it really struck me till today. It goes something like this,

"If you hold on to a beautiful butterfly too tightly in your palm, you would only kill it. But if you were to free it from your grasp, you could enjoy the beauty of it."

Not to mention, the life you save.
These simple words meant so much. It is just so typical of life, in which humans would quite literally kill to hold on to some things they know weren't meant to be. Partly in denial and partly in believe that situations would change as they desire. As pointless as it may seem, some see it as faith.
But this time around, even faith can not quite change the fact of this. And so, we had to let go.

The past couple of days had been hard. But I'm proud to say you guys had pulled through pretty well.
It hurts to see you in such a condition. It hurts more to fear that each small thing would remind you of him.
Yes, it was proven to be a 'him'. Oh, the disappointment I expected.
Words may come out at the wrong time, but I know no poison were meant to be inserted with those words. Rants are meant to be just rants.
Rants are meant to be spoken of and forgotten about the moment next.
Please be assured everything will be alright, and I certainly believe that light will be shone upon us once again, soon.

And to you, my dear. I know you are sad, disappointed and probably even furious at one point or another. But I'm proud to say you've handled it all pretty well in you. It is however pointless now to put blames on anyone, or even anything. Like you said, probably we weren't his destiny.
The days ahead may be hard, for you mostly. Please take care of yourself.
The coughs are getting really bad. It hurts to see how much you've done for us, and nothing done yet for you. I wish I could be around more often.

Lil one, rest assured. They said you've chosen a pretty good day to leave. I hope you did. I couldn't bear to see you. I agree that it would only hurt more seeing you like that now. But if they said the decision made were the best for you, I believe it is. And from the condition confirmed to be, such decision had been forced to be made with no regrets. I just hope you'd rest in peace now.

The past nineteen weeks had been filled with hopes and plans, not to forget joy. These may need to be put on hold now. Until the new ray of light peeks into our lives once again. We will be there. With arms wide open, once again.

Clarification.

*this message is specially to my readers (friends in particular)*

First and foremost, my heartiest gratitude to all of you for the love and concern. Sorry to might have bothered you with such a blog post. In fact, I'm sure it did bother you. Intoxicating as it is, it wasn't meant to disturb you.
I might had made a mistake posting the previous message, especially after I had sorta purposely leave it unclear in one way or another. Undeniably, I was alil more than just emo or down and I only had my blog to turn to. A friend had been a good listener, but there's just this much you can say.
I truly understand that a blog is for open-reading, but it is still my personal ranting spot, right. :)

It may seemed dramatic, but it wasn't meant to be.
It may seemed troubling, but it wasn't meant to be.
I just needed to say things I couldn't have done it without looking insane, I just needed to let it out. Please do not misjudge my message, nor misinterpret it. Best is, don't interpret it.
But to clear things off now, the "you" mentioned in the previous entry is not referring to my brother. I don't know how did it lead to thinking that it was referring to him. I still can't quite figure it out.
Well then again, I can't say it isn't related to him at one point or another.
But...ah, well. It's ok.

Do not worry about me. I'll be fine. I'll keep holding on. I know I'm strong. =)

Love always,
eLaiNe.

You're My Only Wish.

You don't know how happy we are, expecting you to the family

You don't know how proud we are, anticipating for your arrival
You don't know how scared we are, caring for your little self
You don't know how sad we will be, if you were to ever leave

I've practically waited for you all my life. The constant bugging I gave him, I truly meant them all. I know you could change alot of things.
Change him, bring brightness and hope.
When the news of you came by, I never thought it was for real.
Though I seriously hoped for it to be real, from the bottom of my heart.
And yes, you are for real.
You'll never imagine the joy we feel. Everyone is anticipating to meet you. Anticipating to love you.

I'm afraid. I don't want you to leave. I want to know you, I want to love you.
As silly as it may sound, I even had plans how love should be showered upon you. Yet I'm pretty sure I'm not alone. You should see them.
They may not have put it in words, but I know they are even happier than I am for you. Their actions have spoken so much louder.

I'm sorry if it had been me you're reluctant to come to. But I hope you can stay mad at me, as long as I can see you. I would make up for it as best as I can.
Please stay, and be strong. You've been sent to us for a reason, that I truly know. I still believe you love us, just the way we love you that much.

I am loving you already. I have dreamt for you for too long, I don't wanna stay asleep anymore.
You're my only wish now. The only wish I pray for at night. Please, be safe. :)